this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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I still sometimes think about the guy in my lower secondary school English class in probably 2016 reading the infobox on the Wikipedia article for Tanzania, and saying out loud, "Official languages: none de jure??", pronouncing it in a heavy singsongy Norwegian accent like "NOO-nuh duh YEW-ruh??", apparently believing "None De Jure" to be the name of some sort of obscure African language rather than just meaning "no official language"

And then I remember that this was around the same time that the teacher asked what New York was named after, and I raised my hand and answered "the Dork of York". And then my soul goes nichijou_pencil_stab.mp4 for a bit

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

omori-afraid I promise I'll never write anything on the internet ever again. Would not want people thinking about my catastrophic fuck-ups eight years later & currently dealing with the reality that they probably already are

E: wow this is an incredible trauma thread

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I have this memory seared into my mind from 3rd grade. After lunch a classmate felt sick and proceeded to hurl infront of our classroom just before class started. Another classmate, the chubby, clumsy and often picked on kid came running down the hall and accidentally slipped and fell in the puke, getting covered in it and shattering his gameboy on the hard floor. I felt so bad for him, almost our entire class saw. He went home for the rest of the day.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Holy shit that is a vivid image, I literally whimpered out a little ^"ouwgh"^ when I read that. Poor guy.

Had that happened in the modern day, somebody would've caught it on video and put the refrain to Bakamitai or Sakanaction's Identity over it, guaranteed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Someone in my high school once said: “you know what I hate? When you get some apples, and some milk.” He works at the grocery store so I still see him sometimes. All of my friends mention this occasionally. I’ve also told my kids about it. Once every few days one of us will ask the others: “you know what I hate…?”

We don’t know why he hates apples and milk and we’ve never told him that he’s a celebrity among us. I’ve thought of going up to him at the grocery store while holding some apples and milk, shaking my head, and saying: “I just hate this.” He also carded me once even though we were in the same class. Once when my family was driving away from the grocery store, we saw him walking nearby. My spouse rolled down the window and was about to start shouting about apples and milk but thankfully I got us away in time.

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