this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 8 months ago (2 children)

the word "Coprolite" simply meaning fossilized dung.

I think I just found my new label for describing our ruling class.

We live in a coprocracy, run by coprolites.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Listen, at least coprolites are really useful for science.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Oh there's plenty of good science I can think of!

How many coprolites can be cut in two by a single motion of a guillotine blade?

Does a coprolite puree make a viable fertilizer?

How do coprolites hold up against extremes in temperature, pressure, or acceleration? Exposure to acids, bases, enzymatics, radiation?

So much valuable data!

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I'm not kidding, I've seen it!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I feel like I've taken bigger poops than that.

If that is the record I need a shirt like that but it says "Women want me plumbers fear me" and a toilet instead of a fish.

This reminds me of the South Park episode about this

[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

Hahaha that bottom line

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

I touched it during a primary school trip there.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (2 children)

That can't be the record for the largest poop

[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I imagine it was probably larger before it was... Dried out.

Also, 8 inches by 2 inches is pretty fucking large. I say this as someone who has had 8 inches back there.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So like do you use ruler markings to measure that or do you just measure after taking it to the hilt?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Generally, you should use a cloth tape measure to measure dick. There are instructions online if you look.

Also, 8 inches to the hilt is often not pleasant, so work with your partner and learn how deep your sigmoid colon is, and take it slow. Big ol' dick slamming into a wall is not fun unless you are very particularly into it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

New Olympic sport: Coprolite Extrusion.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I've shat bigger than that, and i didn't go saving it for posteriorarity

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I’m trying to figure out if you regret this or are proud of it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Yeah that one pic with the nurse carrying the bed pan was like 4x this size

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Fun story for y'all.

I used to drink a lot of milk. I was a constipated teen. I took a shit one day, and to say it was anything short of awe aspiring wouldn't do it justice. This thing was one solid thick rod sticking out of the water.

I called my stepdad to check it out. Naturally, he was so surprised he had to tell Mum to come over. A few minutes later we've got a whole family of six in a bathroom admiring my turd.

My stepdad claims to have uploaded it to ratemypoo .com (don't bother going there, the site takes you to ratemypussy .com).

This day I learned our family was not normal.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

This is why we have the "poop chainsaw", son

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Why did i click that lmao

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I wonder how many courics that is.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Hey Sharon!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Literal shitposting

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Did a shit

A bank grew out of it

Sounds about right

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

But was it as big as Klee Irwin’s description on his infamous TV infomercial for dual cleanse? I ask you…. I watched this infomercial in absolute awe and confusion once back in 2005/2006 eating lunch at home sick. I had to look this up again seeing this post.

Link to transcript description

“I’ll never forget the first time I saw my four-year-old daughter’s bowel movement in the toilet. It literally scared me. She wasn’t more than 45 pounds, but her bowel movement was about as thick as my wrist and about as long as her arm. And I thought, ‘Oh my God.’ I got scared. I was going to call my wife. I thought, ‘How could something that big come of something—a little child—that small. And I thought, I’m six feet tall and I weigh 190 pounds and by proportion to my size compared to hers my bowel movements were very inadequate to say the least.”

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

"Analysis of the stool has indicated that its producer subsisted largely on meat and bread, despite evidence suggesting that other people at the same place and time had access to fruits, leeks, shellfish, and nuts. The presence of several hundred parasitic eggs suggests the person was riddled with intestinal worms."

Amazing

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Even in the Viking Age we had RETVRN guys.

They didn't eat fucking berries in the sagas! Hang on, I gotta go post on the noticeboards to ask about how to deal with these fucking tapeworms.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I need more context regarding the poop viking's illness

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

https://minds.wisconsin.edu/handle/1793/64732

p. 39, parasitic infections. I actually have that report they reference (print book, it's considered a staple text for doing insect work but it's old). I'll have to dig it out tomorrow.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Don't forget the parasite infestation!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Damn that shit is expensive!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I will now refer to Trump as Coprolite. Because hes a fossilized piece of shit.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Most flavorful native English cuisine

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

I don’t know who would pay thousands of dollars for an old shit, but I’m quite certain they ain’t my kind of people

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Someone had fun on the Wikipedia article

The layers that covered the coprolite were moist and peaty.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I know soldiers who have had larger shits after field training. Source I worked at a rec center that would be their first stop as they prep to go home. And I would check the bathroom and see that it was left when they could not flush it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

About 1/75th of Bono.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Is 1200 years long enough it would be sterile? Like, no original bacteria or parasites?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

This is my bread and butter. Peat is anoxic. It's great for preservation and you get tonnes of stuff that doesn't preserve elsewhere. Google "Must Farm, UK" I'm an archaeologist that does environmental work in these kinds of environments. Peat preserves eyelashes on bog bodies, it's nuts. Dissolves other stuff though due to the acids. I've got a diagram somewhere give me a bit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Well the human gut is anoxic too, so that shouldn't be a problem for the gut-bacteria in that log and in the bog mummies. I think it way more likely that the sphagnan and the other tannins in peat-bog-water conserved this as well as the bog bodies.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

It's the eggs you count for parasites. I do this for a living, my friend. I posted a diagram. Soft bodied insects don't preserve well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That is extremely cool and I don't doubt your expertise in the slightest. Was only commenting about that anoxic conditions alone wouldn't necessarily preserve the bog mummies, but that the acidic conditions and tannins are likely more important.

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