this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
895 points (98.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

19623 readers
26 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Call me magic man

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I've set my role on my company's slack profile as "code connoisseur"

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

I think "prompt engineer" is the best job title on multiple levels

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (5 children)

A, A, A, A

(Hand clapping)

A, A, A, A

(Hand clapping intensifies)

A, A, A, A, A, A

(Techno beat drops)

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

My boss once referred to me as “code bastard”. I’m keeping it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

I have rotated between countless titles over several decades. What I do hasn't really changed. Currently I'm not even aware what my official title is and when someone asks I usually say something along the lines of I make IT go but in my native language.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I know a guy who just says he stacks shelves at Tesco as he cannot be bothred to explain 😂

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Ummm, keyboard jockey??? Code monkey??? can we get some respect here?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You may call me Computer God. Or God for short if i deem it acceptable.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Button pusher

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

A load of the devs at my original dotnet shop are still there, but are now called stuff like “Vice President Regional Director Lord Protector Master Technical Architect”. I suspect they’re all still writing VB.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I usually say "I'm a computer toucher" or "computer programmer" if I don't want to talk about what I do. If I want to flex some nerd cred, and/or boast a little, I'll usually say "I work with machine automation" or "robotics". It tends to get a more curious response and I can talk about some of the weird stuff I've helped make.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I like Computer Programmer. No mistaking it. Developers are people who organise houses to be built. Engineers work on trains. Coders encrypt data. No matter what nonsense word salad it says on my email signature, when I'm at a barbecue I say I'm a computer programmer.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

I would prefer that I was not referred to at all. Especially if you are a PM.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I hear the voice of the machine spirit!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I like to call myself a codemonkey

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (13 children)

If they have a degree in engineering, then they are an engineer.

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (6 children)

It depends who I'm talking to and where I live. Where I live, engineer is a protected title and requires certification/etc so that takes it out of the race. That leaves the other options. Generally I am a Web Developer to people my age or younger, to people older than me I am usually a Computer Programmer but also sometimes a Developer or Software Developer instead. Realistically, I am a Full Stack Website Developer.

Referring to my job doesn't get any easier even as someone in tech.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Lives ARE on the line. It was faulty software that caused the Boeing 737 Max to crash twice, killing 346 people. Software runs your car, the trains, rockets, literally everything.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I only want to be called darling. Or a filthy worm, depending on the situation

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

I have always considered myself an engineer because I’m part of a multidisciplinary engineering organization designing a physical product that has embedded software. And “engineer” is the word at the end of my degrees, I guess.

But if somebody called me by any of those terms in the OP I would answer. And if somebody who works on an app or a video game calls themselves an engineer, it wouldn’t raise an eyebrow.

My only conclusion is that we here, who spend our days specifying exactly what we want computers to do, are not so great specifying ourselves exactly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

i can tell a programmer didn't write those questions because "code ninja" isn't one of the options

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

The Intergalactic Ninja Sultan of Revenue Development

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Remember when they tried to make ninja, Rockstar, and guru a thing?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›