For my own part, a couple of dates (3+), or at least spending a decent amount of time together, long enough to know that I probably want a relationship with the person.

I find sex to be quite intimate and emotional, which is why I'm more selective.

Thanks for the well written answer!

I'll take some of that under advisement given that we aren't doing bdsm but there having her be the focus is definitely something I can relate to.

Left - those eyes are lookin' straight into my soul

<Press X to doubt>

Smashing that button rn

I do, mostly because the anonymity is liberating. Not needing to worry about what folks who know me irl think about one thing or another. Odds are they wouldn't care, but still.

Almost went left, but even just based off the smile, middle is more my vibe.

Sometimes the potential consequences of doing something irl are just... not worth it.

For instance, risky public sex

Fantasy: ooh the thrill of being caught, what'll happen? Such adrenaline, such stakes 😈

Reality: Go to jail for indecent exposure, do not pass go, lose your job and be branded a sex offender in a government registry ☹️

For me, it started out with plain old imagination and porn videos. It took a tragically long time to discover literotica and audio.

At least for me, written erotica (sometimes with the assistance of AI), comics and audio give a much nicer experience with preference changing depending on mood. Part of that might be because it leaves a lot to the imagination.

Only time I use video porn nowadays is when wanting to just "get it over with quickly".

Lemmy's growing slowly and niche communities can take a bit to get started. It can often help if someone posts regularly for a bit to attract people.

As a regular dude I'd also like an answer to this question. Every service I've tried so far ends up making me miserable in the long run, which is why I don't use them anymore.

IMO up & downvotes both have a purpose. Content can be disagreeable without being rule-breaking. I've certainly found downvotes a helpful indicator in the past, occasionally highlighting a poor formulation that caused one of my comments to be misunderstood.

A potential middle-ground might be disallowing downvotes on post, but permitting them on comments?

Either way, big thanks to you for hosting the site, and hope the donations situation gets resolved!

Ironically, that makes me inclined to go left.