No such thing. The services for dating are all bot driven now. People end up paying for a service that simply isn't as advertised.

Now, hookup services ala grindr, they can do better at finding real people, but it's hit or miss about making connections that matter. Last I talked to anyone, adult friend finder is kinda decent, but you still run into it being more about hookups than any mid to long term connections. But, since you describe a pretty open situation with your partner, focusing on something that's going to be non monogamous friendly like that is likely to be a better choice.

Just a reminder that dating apps don’t want you to succeed.

That would mean you stop using their app.

Your success and their success are in direct conflict.

As a regular dude I'd also like an answer to this question. Every service I've tried so far ends up making me miserable in the long run, which is why I don't use them anymore.

I found Boo. It has more non-standard people on it. I tend to say it has more "weirdos" and, being a weirdo, it has more of what I'm looking for. It also has more friends and not just dating.

I (cishet man) have used Tinder, Badoo, Bumble, and OkCupid and they all sucked for different reasons and made me feel horrible. Best thing I ever did was stop using them a couple of years ago.

From your description of both you and him having spouses, I'd suppose, Feeld would not be the worst to try.

Having said that: they're all crap. I don't know that it was ever any better (at least for people desiring to meet with female presenting matches). I've tried a fair number of apps, and some have the features, others have the demographic, and none have both. That's my experience.