[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone -1 points 4 hours ago

Describes a lot of the Metro series

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 10 hours ago

Look at you, hacker...

What a day to be able to read.

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

So how is it possible that I can feel so awful all the time and still drag myself to go out and have fun even though I’m at a bar alone. I can do it. It’s not hard. Just go out and get a drink and stand there and be ok.

Numerous types of mental illnesses make this a lot more difficult do to for some people than others. You may feel like crap but you're not actively suffering deep depression. Deep depression literally makes it very, very physically difficult to drag yourself out of your place to be social. So for some people, it actually is incredibly hard.

I cannot be special, that’s against the rule that everybody is special therefore nobody’s special therefore I cannot be special.

That's some seriously circular logic going on here. It's not that "everybody is special" so much as everybody is unique. That doesn't make them special or good or anything, it just means every individual is fundamentally different from all the rest and handles interpersonal situations differently than all the rest. That's just basic social situational understanding, that different people respond differently to the same stimuli.

Just some food for thought, maybe people are going through different struggles than yourself and you should perhaps try to give them a little more grace.

Final thought, maybe pushing away friends because they're not fulfilling your demands of them enough and then complaining about not having any friends after that is kind of an unhealthy way of coping with these feelings. I have close friends that there have been stretches in life where we fell out of touch, but when push came to shove they were there for me, even if we hadn't spoken in years. Just because people are going through some shit and maybe not as available as they once were doesn't necessarily mean they don't care.

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

This must be from before Mamdani was mayor, because now there's a bunch of things that can be pointed at to answer the question "what has New York ever done for me."

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Puff puff pass shut the fuck up.

Look at my horse, my horse is amazing.

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Yes. Yikes that's filthy. I mean I wash my hands throughout the day not just when I use the bathroom, as well. How do you prep and cook a meal without washing your hands to avoid cross-contamination between ingredients?

Turn the page and then you wash your hands.

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 55 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Dating a woman with inverted nipples is like having biological endless bubble wrap. Stimulate them and they pop out.

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I don't think it's actually meant to be a sequence of commands as much as each set of commands do the same things. I think the "->" is a delimiter that unfortunately makes one think this is some sort of flowchart, which it is not. The flow of both don't really make sense, but each command, in order, maps to the others. Unzip = Extract. Touch = Create. Mount = Assign.

The joke really is as simple as the Linux commands all sound vaguely sexual and thus aren't very appropriate for a workplace, whereas the Windows commands are named professionally.

The odd use of the "->" just distracts from that, they could have used a "/" or any other delimiter and it might have been a little clearer.

7
4
18
Please Be Nice Rule (www.youtube.com)

Don't be weird, don't be mean
You're on my computer screen
It's my world, it's my life
I'm a person
Please be nice

I don't even know who you are
Please be nice it's really not that hard

3
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/twinpeaks@lemmy.world
92
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

EDIT: Thanks for everyone's kind words and support. I'm not sure how to reply to most of them, but just know I read all of them. I will be seeking out therapy and figuring out what's right for me this week. Thanks so much.

I hope this is the right place for this.

So, I've been having conversations with some of my trans-friends that have been making me think about things in my life.

Let's start with background.

When I was little, I always knew I wanted to be a girl. I wanted to be a girl so badly, even from when I was like six years old. Part of it was certainly that I was treated differently than my sister and made to feel guilty for being a boy because I was "just like my father" which is an insane thing to dump on a six year old. Yet, part of it was also sincere. I remember once my mom told me to be careful what I wished for or I just might get it and I spent months wishing I was slowly turning into a girl, just telling myself the process would be slow but I just had to keep wishing and praying for it. I remember a friend telling me about a video game they had that included a station for brewing potions and I was secretly obsessed with trying to find a gender changing potion (surely not in the game, but I was a kid who just wanted it to be real).

When I was 12 my mom caught me putting on my sisters clothes and put the fear of God in me and told me to never do it again, like she did with most things she didn't understand when it came to me. I stopped trying to do it, and I remember feeling very conflicted and crying a lot about giving up my dream of becoming a girl.

In high school though, I would often crossdress for Halloween, lied to myself and others and that it was just a fun silly thing to do. (To be clear my mother was around a lot less in high school so I was able to hide the fact that I did this from her) But if it was just for fun why did I slather my whole body with Nair to be more feminine? Why did I feel so good about how I looked in that one dress? Why did I spend so long gazing in the mirror and loving the feeling and wanting it to be real?

As an adult, I realized I was always more excited about pretty dresses and buying them for my girlfriends than they were about them. That I was more excited by the trappings of femininity than they were, and that maybe deep down it was because I was trying to live vicariously through them.

I grew up in the 80s and 90s, though, and I didn't even really know that being trans and transitioning was even really an option until I was pushing into my late twenties when I first started realizing trans people existed and had existed. I have always felt an affinity for the trans community, obviously, because to an extent I understood the experience.

But for 20 years I have spent my time making excuses for why I can't or won't consider the idea that I'm trans. "I'm too tall. I'm going bald (starting balding in my twenties). My hands and feet are too big. My hips are to narrow, my chest too deep. I'm too hairy. I would be an ugly woman and I want to be pretty, not ugly. I'll end up alone and unloved." I guess only more recently it hit me that if I'm making excuses for why I can't do it, then somewhere it means that I do want to do it still. That dream never really went away. The desire to be pretty and feminine never stopped, I just hid it away really well and constantly told myself that this was the body and life I had and that I had to get over it.

I'm in the USA, and I know this is pretty much the worst time to be reckoning with these feelings, but as I already have cancer, already am on the path to trying to get on disability, and already am on Medicaid, which the plan I am on in my state (Washington) covers a large portion of the aspects of transitioning (HRT, hair removal, facial feminization surgery, body contouring surgery, top surgery, and bottom surgery) it feels like it could be the last chance I have to stop telling myself excuses for why I can't be who I always wanted to be.

Part of it is I had one of my friends convincing me to try one of those gender-swap faceapps where they still adhere to your actual face shape, and my god, I was on the verge of tears, I didn't look ugly like I thought I would. I ended up staring at it for hours and looking at my face from every angle and wondering why I had lied to myself about the possibility of being pretty.

I don't know why I'm writing this other than to get it out and there and maybe field advice from the community. I'm seeing my psychiatrist this week and I'm going to ask her if the agency I'm at has any counselors who specialize in gender dysphoria/body dysmorphia. I figure I may as well talk to a professional about it for a while to try to come to more clear conclusions.

Does anyone have advice for someone in their mid-forties finally exploring this for real and trying to decide if it's for them? I know it won't solve all my problems, I know it won't magically make me happy when I have had chronic depression all my life from other trauma I have experienced... I just, I don't know, I'm going through a lot of changes in my life anyway due to my cancer and having to start my life over, part of me feels like maybe I should start it over the way I actually want to, then.

I hope this wasn't too long of a ramble, and I appreciate anyone who hears me out and cares to tell me anything that would be helpful, supportive, or make me feel more at ease at the idea or transitioning so late in life while my country wants to make what I desire even harder to achieve.

974
Linux Rules (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Shamelessly stolen from you know where

308
Rules of the Meme Police (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

wee woo wee woo wee woo

8
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/music@lemmy.world

[Intro: Devi McCallion]
Programming like this
Is made possible
By viewers like you!

[Verse 1: Ada Rook, Devi McCallion]
Every day, every day, I'm so fucking freaked out
Every day, every day, I can't get the evil out
Every night I feel so far away
Someday, someday
Will it ever be okay?

Every day, it's a brand new episode
Every day, I guess we'll see just how far it goes
Every day, it seems like no one sees and no one knows
Every day, I kinda wanna cancel the show

[Pre-Chorus: Ada Rook, Devi McCallion]
Most days I just feel like I'm making it up
Call off the show
I pray to god that I'm just making it up
I don't wanna go to the show!

[Chorus: Ada Rook]
I wish this was just a cartoon so I could be like
"This is real as fuck, I love the way they don't give up!"
Tweet about it, "more stories like this, so important!"
But it really happened
Oh god, it really happened!

[Spoken: Devi McCallion & Ada Rook]
"So, uh, I have this idea for like, a cartoon or something.."
"Uh-huh."
"And, it's like.. There's these fucked up kids..."
"Uh-huh."
"And like, through the power of uh..."
"Understanding!"
"Yeah! It could totally be like, understanding, or like, forgiveness or something..."
"Uh-huh."
"They like, overcome all their fears, and in the end, they turn out to be like, fine.."
(Both laughing)

[Bridge: Ada Rook, Devi McCallion]
Aaaaaghhhhh!
What the fuck!
What the...
I wanna do that again, yeah

[Verse 2: Devi McCallion]
Every day, it's another new episode
Every day, slice a bit more meat off the bone

[Pre-Chorus: Ada Rook, Devi McCallion]
I can feel the evil in me
I'm such a faker really
Meat off the bones...
Crisis line, all agents busy
I feel so guilty
Meat off the...

[Outro: Ada Rook & Devi McCallion]
What the fuck?!
What the fuck?!
What the fuck?!
What the fuck?!
What the fuck?!

7
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/music@beehaw.org

[Intro: Devi McCallion]
Programming like this
Is made possible
By viewers like you!

[Verse 1: Ada Rook, Devi McCallion]
Every day, every day, I'm so fucking freaked out
Every day, every day, I can't get the evil out
Every night I feel so far away
Someday, someday
Will it ever be okay?

Every day, it's a brand new episode
Every day, I guess we'll see just how far it goes
Every day, it seems like no one sees and no one knows
Every day, I kinda wanna cancel the show

[Pre-Chorus: Ada Rook, Devi McCallion]
Most days I just feel like I'm making it up
Call off the show
I pray to god that I'm just making it up
I don't wanna go to the show!

[Chorus: Ada Rook]
I wish this was just a cartoon so I could be like
"This is real as fuck, I love the way they don't give up!"
Tweet about it, "more stories like this, so important!"
But it really happened
Oh god, it really happened!

[Spoken: Devi McCallion & Ada Rook]
"So, uh, I have this idea for like, a cartoon or something.."
"Uh-huh."
"And, it's like.. There's these fucked up kids..."
"Uh-huh."
"And like, through the power of uh..."
"Understanding!"
"Yeah! It could totally be like, understanding, or like, forgiveness or something..."
"Uh-huh."
"They like, overcome all their fears, and in the end, they turn out to be like, fine.."
(Both laughing)

[Bridge: Ada Rook, Devi McCallion]
Aaaaaghhhhh!
What the fuck!
What the...
I wanna do that again, yeah

[Verse 2: Devi McCallion]
Every day, it's another new episode
Every day, slice a bit more meat off the bone

[Pre-Chorus: Ada Rook, Devi McCallion]
I can feel the evil in me
I'm such a faker really
Meat off the bones...
Crisis line, all agents busy
I feel so guilty
Meat off the...

[Outro: Ada Rook & Devi McCallion]
What the fuck?!
What the fuck?!
What the fuck?!
What the fuck?!
What the fuck?!

56
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/onehundredninetysix@lemmy.blahaj.zone

I see way more posts complaining about Windows users complaining about switching to Linux than I have ever actually seen of Windows users actually complaining about switching to Linux.

439
Suruleance State (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
349
Palantirule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
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SnotFlickerman

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