Egg cracked towards the end of last year. At the time I thought "hey I've lived my whole life like this, if I need to boymode for some reason it'll be fine right?"

I'm still pre hrt and have a buzz cut so it's not like I'm super fem right now, but more and more I've been wearing what I want to wear: skirts or cute women's trousers, jewellery, makeup etc. At the very least I'm not going to be mistaken for a cis boy when I leave the house like this.

The feeling of dressing the way I want had been so freeing, the feeling of being seen, especially by queer folks, as something other than a cis man, and the chance to catch sight of myself in a reflection and like what I see. All of that has changed something in me.

Now when I dress in my old clothes in spaces where I feel like I can't be myself, it makes me want to scream, it's unbearable. I can't even imagine being the person that looked like this every day. It's so strange that so much can change just by changing your perception of yourself.

The positive side is that 3 months ago, my biggest fear in the world was that I was somehow faking, not really trans, and that all the joy I felt was some mistake or something. That "imposter syndrome" would sneak in if I accidentally went a few hours without feeling dysphoric, and my brain would go "see look, you're cis silly".

It's getting pretty hard to maintain that delusion when dressing like a man makes me want to puke. So, even though this seems like a sad post, I'm actually happy. I know who I am. I just need to finish coming out professionally and with older family so I don't have to pretend to be a man any more.

Really wanted to just get that feeling out of my head. Thanks dear ones.

My hands are my most reliable source of gender euphoria while i wait for hormones to arrive.

So I made a very dumb mistake. I have been using hair removal cream for the last month or so and getting good results. My skin was handling it well and the grow-back was much softer and slower than shaving. Good times.

Yesterday I didn't time it correctly and left it on certain areas too long. I didn't realise that 2-6 minutes was a strict upper range and that it's dangerous to leave it on longer.

So yeah, I took too long and now I have a very unpleasant chemical burn on both my ass cheeks. I had to cancel plans so I can sit inside with my butt in air while it heals.

Setbacks like this have really thrown me into downward spirals in the past, and I was very upset at first, but I'm trying to move past it, see the funny side, and pick myself up.

Early transition can feel a lot like you're fumbling around in the dark sometimes. I wish I had a community-assigned trans mentor with me at all times to gently warn me when I'm about to do something stupid.

Alternatively, maybe some of you have some similar mistakes that you can look back and smile or laugh at now, and maybe if you share them I can feel less like a dumb idiot while I wait for my ass to cool off.

Anyone in the UK on HRT and getting blood tests? I am going through the onboarding process for GAHT via Imago.tg.

Imago provide the full list of tests I need to take, but I can only contact my GP via their online intake forms. They do provide a space to ask for a nurse appointment for a blood test, but I'm a little cagey about outing myself to them if they will not actually help me. They don't have a way for me to just ask "can i see my GP" so i can talk to them in person.

As for private options, i only seem to see the off-the-shelf stuff at superdrug and the like, and none of their off-the-shelf offerings have the range of tests I need in them.

I'd love some advice from someone in the UK who's going through this process.

Hi, I'm Domi.

Long time lurker, first time poster. I just wanted to say that you have all helped me a great deal.

It's been long and slow journey unpacking the huge pile of internalised phobias that were pumped into my brain as an assumed male growing up in the 90s and 2000s. I have spent a long time in this very self-loathing "everyone is valid except me" way of thinking.

I've been reading your stories for a long time, the beautiful trans joy and difficult and terrible things too. You being here, being yourselves in all your glory, it has been a way for me to feel community and connection even before I could admit to myself who I really was.

So thank you all, thank you for sharing your joy, thank you sharing your hard times, thank you so much for being who you are. You've done more to help me than you can know.