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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by RedWizard@hexbear.net to c/parenting@hexbear.net

What is Matrix?

Matrix ≈ Discord - tracking + end-to-end encryption (by default)

While not 100% discord, it does support many of the features of discord (text chat, audio chats, video chats). It is also federated, similarly to how Hexbear/lemmy is federated. You can sign up for a matrix.org account. Like email, there are many different apps that can be used with your matrix account, but the official one is Element, this is what I use.

How to join the space

#Hexbear:matrix.org is a public matrix space, so you are free to join from wherever your home server might be (typically matrix.org). A space is a collection of rooms, joining a space gives you easy access to a list of rooms to join. The Hexbear space is an official space managed and moderated by members of our community. You'll find the parenting channel inside this space!

If you have a matrix account, skip to step 2

  1. Head to https://app.element.io/ and select "create account"
  2. Once your account is created, click the space link above, or in the community sidebar, which takes you to the shared space page.
  3. Find "Element" in the "Choose an app to continue" section and select "Continue".
  4. The page will attempt to launch Element if you have it installed, and direct you to the room; otherwise, you can select "continue in browser" to open Element in your browser.
  5. You will be prompted to join the channel in Element, click join, then you're in!

But why?

Real-time communication can be helpful when you're in the moment. The channel is configured to only show history from the moment you join, so there isn't a massive backlog of messages for someone to comb through the second they join. It's encrypted, and, while that doesn't mean too much when the room is public, it does mean the messages on the server side are secured.

Ultimately, I just want to offer many means of communication for parents here, and Matrix seems good to me.

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cross-posted from: https://news.abolish.capital/post/23096

Before Thanksgiving 2025, the Department of Homeland Security set its sights on North Carolina. Since launching Operation Charlotte’s Web, a multiagency campaign of terror and abduction directed against the state’s non-white immigrant population, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and Customs and Border Patrol (CBP) have made more than 400 arrests while local businesses have shuttered and student absences have skyrocketed.1

But workers and students in the bull city did not take this invasion lying down. In this interview, Shan, a Durham-based public school teacher, shares about the initially “chaotic” response to raids—and the organized response before, during, and after them. Widespread pressure and fast-acting responses coordinated by the local teacher’s union, community groups, parents, and students won important protections and paved the way for continued resistance to state terror in their schools.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.


by Juan Verala Luz

Juan Verala Luz (JVL): When you first learned ICE was planning to invade North Carolina, how did you and other educators prepare?

Shan (S): Local nonprofits and other community groups have long prepped for that sort of thing.2 As far as I know, in recent years, there’s never been Customs and Border Patrol (CBP) coming along with ICE. Given what was already happening in Charlotte, it was pretty scary how close it was and the sheer number of people snatched in such a short amount of time.

I definitely don’t think school staff were really prepared at all. It wasn’t a thing where I felt like I knew what exactly to do. A lot of people were asking questions about it as things were happening. We blame the school district administration for that disorganization.

With schools, the nice thing is that we already kind of have a natural network, because parents, students, workers are all kind of connected. So it was almost easy in a sense to mobilize around it. We didn’t have to really convince each other. We all came together very organically.

JVL: How did you “organically” come together? Were you explicitly coordinating responses together, or recognizing from a distance each other’s role in confronting this operation?

S: During Operation Charlotte’s Web, our worker organization was really focused on pushing immigrant protection policies at our upcoming second meet-and-confer session.3 We were trying to argue for a robust ICE policy that provides all the resources possible, such as Red Cards, “Know Your Rights” information, and comprehensive training for staff as part of our platform, so our capacity was highly limited.4

Because we were so out of capacity, community groups really stepped up. At the high school levels, the students self-organized and did a walkout in at least two of the schools, if not more.5 A lot of parent organizations and outside nonprofits cohered together and reached out to us. We were able to provide a lot of contacts at different schools because we already had Durham Association of Educators leaders and that connected network.

I became one of the captains of a school so that I could coordinate with parents. I remember being in meetings with hundreds of people to plan our response. We told people to come to a spot to make sure we watch for any suspicious vehicles coming through the schools. We also held signs to show we really support students and all that, like, you’re welcomed here. Because it was right around the time of Thanksgiving break, parents wanted to make sure that for families that were afraid to go out to get food for whatever reason, they had food delivered to their houses, so they organized a food drive.

It was kind of like having a morale boost in those scary times from parents.

JVL: You mentioned your union was focused on the meet-and-confer immigrant protection policy. Walk me through how the team brought it to the school district.

S: Immigrant protections were definitely something that was on the top of our minds after Trump got re-elected. Durham has actually protected a student from deportation with a policy at the time that got adopted, so it was already drafted.6 We’re trying to push the district to readopt that policy.7

A lot of staff members and workers in my school who don’t read up on stuff like that would be really confused about how to help students. They’re, like, “Well, what if ICE agents show up? What should I do?” We also wanted to make sure that other staff members are protected too, because we have staff members who are international teachers and workers. If the district would train and have a more systematic approach so that we’re all in it together, we could respond a lot faster and more effectively. Most of the stuff administrators put out these days are just vague platitudes, like “Oh, we care and believe in protecting families. We believe that all children deserve education.” I’m like, “Okay, that’s nice, but what can we do concretely?”

In the first session, when we started the conversation, the district was very reluctant to re-adopt the policy and was very defensive generally. They said “I don’t really want to get targeted by ICE.” We’re like, “Well, ICE is gonna come anyway, doesn’t really matter if you say it publicly here or not.”

Once ICE was in town, it was one of those things where the point was proven. Because things were so really red hot, the administration really couldn’t wiggle out of that. We have open meetings between our team, their team, and we as members of the public are all sitting there, all 200 some of us. A lot of the district meet-and-confer team members are very angry that we’re even there to begin with; they have to really show their faces. If they said anything that was against the immigrant protection policy, I think it would have been game over, publicity-wise.

JVL: Have you won anything since ICE came to Durham?

S:  Because of all the organic community organizing, the union pushing, and now with ICE coming, the timing ended up being good for us in terms of winning more specific things, more commitments from the district. They agreed to provide Red Cards in all the schools. They agreed to work on the immigrant protection policy and the training.

The victory isn’t just the things that were provided in the moment, but also the fact that we now have this network and structure set up. We know this was a kind of last-minute scramble, and we’re trying to refine it, but in case this happens in the future, we already have the structure to respond to it and that will be sustained. We never know when they’re going to come and ICE is always here, but I feel a lot more prepared both mentally and materially.

JVL: What lessons are you taking with you to prepare for ICE’s return?

S: Community organization really works: having people mobilize and be visible to take that strong stand that we’re not tolerating ICE matters. I can’t say for sure but I know that when they came to the Triangle area and we had all these protests and more visibility, they didn’t stay for long. Making sure that we have lots of people there protecting each other, I think that was really important.

Because we were already having that conversation about immigrant defense, I think that helped all of us jump in and take action. Leveraging all those networks and on-the-ground mass organizations is very helpful. Think about what kind of people and organizations you have rather than going through the legal route. I think it will be good for any kind of organization to think about setting up that type of structure so that ICE can’t hit anywhere and everywhere.


If you enjoyed this article, we also recommend our guide for Organizing to Keep ICE Out of Your Workplace.


Notes

  1. For a substantive look at Operation Charlotte’s Web’s development and impacts, see https://www.wbtv.com/2025/12/03/425-arrested-operation-charlottes-web-federal-officials-say/. ↩︎
  2. One noteworthy example is Siembra NC. Even before Trump’s 2024 electoral victory, the organization had been hosting packed “Know Your Rights” training and readying rapid response networks. Learn more about their work in this interview with co-founder Nikki Marín Baena: https://truthout.org/audio/fight-fear-build-power-community-defense-works/. ↩︎
  3. North Carolina’s right-to-work legislation forbids public-sector collective bargaining. Meet-and-confer, wherein district administrators and workers’ associations negotiate over non-binding priorities they recommend that the board of education adopts, is “as close as you can get to” it, explained Shan. ↩︎
  4. Typically printed on bright red cardstock, Red Cards are wallet-sized reminders about constitutional rights and an enumerated list of steps for exercising them during encounters with federal law enforcement. The Immigrant Legal Resource Center (ILRC) makes printable PDFs available in over 50 languages; see https://www.ilrc.org/redcards↩︎
  5. An account of the walkouts can be read at https://dukechronicle.com/article/duke-university-durham-demonstration-protest-ice-border-patrol-immigration-high-school-durham-public-schools-north-carolina-charlotte-walkout-20251122. ↩︎
  6. To learn more about this powerful example from 2016, see https://inthesetimes.com/article/wildin-acosta-ice-teacher-union-north-carolina-right-to-work-deportation. ↩︎
  7. Details of the revised 2017 policy can be found at https://www.campussafetymagazine.com/news/durham-strengthens-policy-protecting-immigrant-students/35797/. ↩︎

The post How Teachers, Students, and Parents are Organizing to Keep ICE Out of Durham Schools appeared first on Black Rose/Rosa Negra Anarchist Federation.


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This feels like a “well no fucking shit“ sort of article where it’s stating the obvious, but I think it’s important that this truth be more and more mainstreamed.

I’m a big fan of Peter Gray and his argument that children benefit substantially from structured play. The commercialization of youth sports is one of those things that is just evil in so many different ways. It robs children of the joy of playing games, enriches private equity companies that are investing in all this bullshit, and it brings out the absolute worst “human capital” instincts of parents who see their children as miniature athletes who need optimization and perfection rather than children having fun playing a ball game.

11.4 percent of parents believe their children can play professionally

lol

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by TrippyFocus@lemmy.ml to c/parenting@hexbear.net

Breht is joined by Nick from MEANS TV and JT from Second Thought and The Deprogram, to have an unstructured conversation about fatherhood, parenting, role modeling, masculinity, marriage, children, and much more!

Haven’t gotten to the end quite yet but thought this was a good episode! Wish they had a mother on to give a wider perspective but thought they had good conversations about toxic masculinity and being a good male role model given the negative influence of the “manosphere”.

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cuddle me holding my baby when she suddenly starts to complain and bob her head like chicken

wife comes in smuglord heh, looks like somebody is hungry, guess who gets to cuddle the baby now (hint: its not you)

boohoo kitty-cri

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/40244806

Yes, people, including children, are being disappeared to concentration camps but the real victims are the white suburban moms privileged enough to offload their snot nosed brats to other people now being forced to take care of their spawn themselves. Those are the people we should feel bad for, surely.

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It was fun! I swear though, I saw at least two different cars with their flashers on, flowing their kids as they trick or treated. This is a tight neighborhood, you can hit like 20 houses just going down two streets. One was a mini van and I overheard the adult driving tell their kid (the doors and trunk were open) "no you get out and walk".

I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt here, maybe the parent is disabled. But 10 minutes later I saw another car on a different street doing what looked like the same thing.

Maybe its just a fluke thing! First time I've seen that though.

How was everyone else night?

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My wife mentioned that her aunt wanted to buy our kids some history books. Come to find out, it was the fucking Tuttle Twins take on US history. I shot that down pretty quick, but realized my kids have zero US history books on their shelf. Because it's honestly really hard to find history books that don't, for example, glaze the founding fathers, downplay genocide and slavery, or portray the USSR as the "bad guys" in the cold war.

So I'm trying to find what I can, and it's a bit challenging. Most actual leftist history books for kids are more for that older kid / pre-teen age group, and my kids are still little. Does anyone know of some good US history books for kids? While I'd love an actual Marxist, historical materialist perspective, afaik no one's written that for little kids yet. I would settle for a more "liberal / progressive" take on US history so long as it's largely factual and avoids the reactionary crap most US history books for kids fall into.

I did find this Honest History Magazine that seems interesting, if anyone's familiar with it. They have a book on economics that from the little information provided, includes a correct definition of capitalism and talks about a time before capitalism, so right there it seems more correct that most.

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How's the fam?

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submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Assian_Candor@hexbear.net to c/parenting@hexbear.net

Hostess is a bougie white yoga lady. They're not gonna have pizza but "homemade hummus and salmon spread" and apple pie, and healthy cake lmao. No booze.

Lady my kid eats chicken nuggets... Barely

Starts at one and ends "whenever" and they've already told some of the kids there will be s'mores as the finish for "the second half"

Also it's hot as fuck, no breeze, and I am hungover.

Family this is violence.

I thought we all understood that these things were OBLIGATIONS that we endured for the sake of our kids. You scratch my back, I scratch yours, nobody goes a birthday with no guests. But the agreement is thus: you get three hours between noon and 3PM, there is an activity, you serve kid friendly snacks or pizza, cake and everyone leaves. This isn't a kids birthday party, it's performative bullshit. It's a hostage situation.

My wife asked the hostess if we should feed our kids if the expectation is that we will be there for, you know, 7 hours.

The response was, "I would say, go ahead and eat, but come ready to eat more"

What are you the fucking sphinx lol I can't even

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For the past year the topic of a safe and suitable internet for children has been on my mind. Recent laws in various places, combined with parental outcry and action groups have made this matter more pressing. In this period, I connected with others and we have slowly started to work on a solution. The idea boils down to a general scheme that can be adopted by the Nostr ecosystem to provide an interoperable solution. Our group will lead the charge, but we are very open to dialogue and we encourage everyone to think and develop alongside us. The purpose of this article is above all a call to action for anyone interested and with opinions or ideas on the matter, to get involved.

I identify the situation as follows. Essentially it is a matter of risk management through trust. The risks are varied, from unwanted content to unwanted interactions. You want to avoid bad content like gore, you want to avoid bullies or worse and you want content that aligns with the norms and values of the upbringing you have in mind for your child. Given that the internet is a vast space, we need a method that is practical in achieving this. The complicating factor in all of this is that, especially when children get older, your ability as a parent to enact control over what your child is exposed to wanes. Their social circles grow and they become more crafty in escaping whatever blockades you have set up. Becoming more independent is a crucial part of growing up, but the internet itself contains so many harmful elements that the risks quickly become too large.

It is for this reason the resolute urge to ban, block, limit and clamp down on the internet and the hardware and software to access it, for the sake of the children, is at the very least understandable. Unfortunately it is a road that certain jurisdictions are already going down to varying degrees. Banning smartphones, mandatory government ID uploads; they are all exponents of a method that can only move in the direction of being more totalitarian. That is to say, the logic is that the entirety of the internet has to adjust to the risk tolerance we have in relation to children, forcing adults to give up their free and open internet.

The best way to counter this dynamic is to come up with an alternative, simply because the demand for a safe and suitable internet for children won’t go away and is reasonable to begin with. It is a hard problem, not just because it is a matter of moderation, but perhaps more importantly one of incentives. Creating separate locked-down environments for your child is not that hard. The issue is as mentioned before, at a certain point children have motivation to break free from that environment. The older they get, the more these restrictions become more apparent because they realize there is more out there, perhaps via interactions with peers who operate in less or differently restricted environments.

This leads me to the following:

  1. No Bubble Boy: any demand for zero-risk is unreasonable. Instead, the demand should be on the ability to control for risk, such that freedoms can increase as they grow older, in line with what a parent deems a reasonable level of responsibility in relation to the child’s level of development.
  2. Overly restrictiveness is motivation for escape. Following 1, the system should be flexible in its ability to adapt to the ever-changing social context of a child while growing up, and allow for interactions with others to the degree that moderation overlaps.
  3. Internet hygiene. As with anything, what is appropriate depends on time, place and crowd. The system should be able to enforce what occurs where, and under what name. Teaching children how to navigate the internet while protecting them from mistakes.
  4. Practicality. Parents should actually be able to operate the system, given that they have more to do in their lives other than judging content, and figuring out complicated settings.

With those four things in mind, I think Nostr specifically is able to provide a solution. To be clear, this is a moonshot project. It will require all aspects and tricks in the Nostr toolbox, from cryptography, clients, relays, web of trust and signing bunkers. With the long list of requirements and low risk tolerance involved some complexity is unavoidable. Yet this will only succeed if it remains simple enough such that developers actually bother to implement these things in an interoperable way. Months of thinking and internal discussion has led to an initial proposal of something that is semi-concrete. Hopefully it is enough of a starting point that open discussion can be had such that it can be optimized and find support in the broader ecosystem.

In the next article I will provide a technical description of the system I have in mind.

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submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Cat_Daddy@hexbear.net to c/parenting@hexbear.net

Title. My kid is 11 and I'd love to get them started on leftist thought. Something like a gentle introduction to how the world works and how of could be better. A manga format would be awesome, but I know that's asking a lot.

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Deep in the comments is a user crying about communists.

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My 4-year-old has reached a big milestone. We’ve been sending surprise messages from across the living room with our Lego train all morning. They’ve produced their first Trogdor the Burninator. Look at all of its majesty.

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parenting

511 readers
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✏ Rules

  1. DO NOT DOXX YOUR KIDS - Seriously, use an alt for this comm or keep it vague; otherwise we’re centralizing info about everyone’s kids into a single place that can be easily focused on.
  2. No jokes about dead kids - I don't care how much the romanovs deserved it, or how right John Brown was, save it for another comm.
  3. No antinatalism struggle sessions

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