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submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Play a game with yourselves. Imagine the silliest reason to ban hatpins, see if you got it right.

8
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

It's nothing new, private companies love to use governamental resources. It doesn't matter how they gain access to them. In this case, it's news about the biggest health insurance provider in Brazil deciding it's cheaper to outsource procedures to the public sector and then pretend they will pay their debt later. They won't, but they would profit anyway, because the government works with outdated numbers and charge less for the same procedures provided by the private sector.

8
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

It’s a problem for which I already found kind of a solution, but an open discussion is always appreciated. What happened was me wanting to share a tool to help with breaking down tasks and deciding to search for older posts because it was popular enough. Other people talked about it here long ago and I actually don’t have much more to add besides the desire to share it with those that are not aware of the tool. So, do I create a new publication or add a mostly empty comment to something old?

In this specific case, I could create a topic that’s more generic and more open to be reproduced regularly. I could ask for the tools everyone uses and offer mine, while also pointing to previous publications. This would be positive as it make sure the information is up to date and potentially more organized. And, more importantly, readily available to those that are not actively searching for it.

So what are your thoughts?

note: I’m talking about sharing https://goblin.tools/ if it helps with the context.

26
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Some articles to those that prefer only to read, but the video is a really good analysis of the situation and shows how a healthy discussion around the subject should be conducted:

It’s an informative and educative video around a specific case that showcases how misogyny can also be expressed in the form of transphobia and how the fear of aggression might lead to unfortunate and harmful decisions.

More explicitly, it’s about the plans to open a women-only gym that were inclusive of all women, but that changed when the threats and fear of men invading that space pretending to be women poisoned the ideal.

I believe the video is being fair in presenting the point of view of someone that seems to genuinely want to do the right thing and is being transphobic in the process.

21
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

After seeing this discussion being brought up again, I was going to genuinely ask you all to explain where that comes from. I’m from Brazil and I don’t recall ever shopping at a place with a large parking lot, which I believe might be part of the issue. I was thinking how come people value this act so much and before starting to write a post here I sent a message to a friend, then it hit me: it’s absurd.

I mean it. The feeling I had reading the comments wasn’t confusion or ignorance, it was the cognitive dissonance of looking at the world I live in and what people decided marks a person as decent. This is one of the moments I really have to stop and check if I’m not actually the crazy one. I really can’t think of something smaller to care about that someone else will defend so vehemently. Really, try me, I’m already broken again.

6
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Let’s try a thought experiment. I define fanaticism as maintaining a position that can’t and won’t be changed by any sort of rational argument. That said, I ask for the second time: Are you a fanatic?

Next, let’s start investigating a little deeper. Try identifying a belief you have that is fundamental. Try something simple at first. The wall in front of me is solid. Would I be able to convince you otherwise? Would you act on it if I presented a perfect explanation proving that you are wrong and you agreed beyond any doubt? Can that wall in front of you not be solid?

Well, maybe that’s stupid. A wall is solid. It’s part of the definition. If I see something I identify as a wall, it must be solid. You can’t prove a wall is not solid. Bad example. I’m sorry.

Something different then. Do you believe there’s any human group that is inherently superior or inferior to another? Would you accept any perfect argument against that belief? Actually, would you accept anyone trying to make that argument? And, if you accept that this is a valid investigation, do you take for granted that a conclusion in conflict with your beliefs is proof enough that there’s some flaw in the argument itself? Are you a fanatic?

I am. Nothing new in my case. Self consciously speaking, I mean. The point today is the feeling we have when something fundamental is challenged. We won’t budge. And, please, notice I’m saying we, I’m saying you, I’m not saying them. I honestly believe we are all fanatics of some kind, although I might be wrong in this case, as in most cases.

13
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

If you think that what you are doing to someone else is too humiliating, degrading, unacceptable to think about happening to you, there's something to explore.

Go to 45:40 for a bit more context, but this quote is enough to start the discussion I have in mind.

The idea is simple and it’s mostly aimed at the ones with little interested in BDSM. BDSM is not abuse. It might be abusive, which is absolutely bad, but that should never be the nature of the practice.

From time to time, I see accusations of abuse being dismissed with the excuse it’s just a form of BDSM that people outside can’t understand. It’s not that hard to grasp the concepts, but you’ll notice you will never get an explanation. Serious people will know what they are talking about and are able to provide you with resources for you to educate yourself. Honestly, most people would find all the education and preparation quite boring, the same way someone that just wants to cut people up would find too bothersome to become a surgeon.

[-] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago
[-] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago

The headline should have been "trying to kick out a woman". That's what she tried to do. That's the fact.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

A little more seriously, we in fact start as non-binary instead of as female as it's usually said. How nobody said that before?

[-] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

A post about sex determination that seems relevant.

https://beehaw.org/post/15996092

50
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I'm not an expert on the subject, but a discussion elsewhere reminded me of some tests related to tracking and fingerprinting. I believe it's a nice starting point if you are interested or want to show others how much information can be used to track them.

Growing up, your IP was the great identifier, and I’m old enough that it might have been true for a good chunk of time. Hiding your IP is still important, but most companies don’t really care about you as an individual. Actually, the fact you are hiding you IP is just more relevant information to put you in the most adequate group. At the end of the day, I assume you are unique just because they have enough information to create a group with you alone.

https://coveryourtracks.eff.org/

https://www.amiunique.org/

[-] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago

I don't know. Sports conventions are not science. When I see the history of things being banned or allowed, it doesn't always make sense. Then we have stuff like weight categories. Anyway, that's beside the scope of this particular discussion.

62
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I believe the problem is never showing evidence, but that the evidence is overwhelming. I could explain the general idea and, maybe, one or two specifics. People that use the XX/XY binary argument wouldn’t be able to explain either, but it’s usually only used because it conforms to a bias. And we are only talking about humans here. Language would implode if we tried to maintain convenient binaries and still back it up with science.

71
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I've never been on twitter, but I'm not that surprised so many of us here were driving engagement.

26
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

OR Another perspective on separating the art from the artist.

Story time. I needed a haircut and shop from the neighborhood is good enough for me. The guy that runs it always had a extreme way of thinking, bordering dangerous territory, but a nice person that argues using what they know and listens. Until today, when I realized he just needed to talk to someone much worse to bring out all the bigotry inside of him. So he’s transphobic, homophobic and doesn’t support neurodivergent diagnosis. He’s a feminist, which the other client wasn’t, so it was horribly funny watching him trying to convince someone that women weren’t better off dealing with reusable diapers. It was bad. I considered leaving, but staying was a last kindness to someone that never treated me poorly, but that I can’t support anymore. He even apologized for the conversation, certainly unaware that his other client wasn’t the most awful for me.

Lately, I have been torturing myself by following the allegations against Neil Gaiman. I honestly don’t know the reason I’m doing that, but I am. I was quick to drop him as a choice in entertainment, specially because the parts he corroborate are already bad enough. Then, as usual, there’s the argument of separating the art from the artist. I have my issues with that, but today I found a new point of view with my experience. (not really, but a new way to demonstrate it)

I needed a haircut. I just shave my head, so it’s quite simple. Doing it at home during the pandemic was bad. Finding someone else to do it at a reasonable price and be completely satisfied will take some tries, again. It doesn’t have to be him. There are options. The next one might be secretly worse, might be the same or, with all the luck, someone better. At the end of the day, I don’t want to ever have to sit and listen to that kind of conversation because it’s simply convenient and because my leaving will not change anything.

This is mostly me venting. It drained me more than I thought it would. I'll probably not answer any comment so soon. I don't have the strength to spellcheck what I just wrote to tell the truth.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

I was talking about how we always have this type of discussion frequently with my therapist earlier today. It’s always nice to pause and remind ourselves and those outside of our philosophy. One thing that I’d like to add is we might not be(e) nice sometimes because of personal circumstances. We are having a bad day and a comment will trigger a reaction that would be uncommon or we might be aggressive without provocation.

In cases we feel the need to hit back, I’d advise postponing the response by at least one hour. Give yourself time to clear your mind and think things over. And if you are the target of users having a bad day, reminding them that they are not be(e)ing nice is the alternative. Asking questions is the best. “Did I offend you?”, “Did I say something wrong?”, “I don’t understand what the issue is.” Even if they keep the aggression, they will point to the specific issue that needs to be worked on, or prove they don’t want to discuss genuinely.

46
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I really tried to ignore it and let it go as just another passing trend. It’s not my language, not my culture and not my battleground, but it’s hard. It hurt me seeing it slowly spreading and getting bigger. What made me decide to vent was reading someone talk about their struggles and seeing a familiar sentence that might be familiar to all: “I was a weird child”.

Being weird is not usually a problem, the issue usually is people being incapable to accept what they consider weird. Different is not wrong, queer is not wrong, expressing yourself and living the only way you know when it’s not hurting anyone around you is definitely not wrong, even if it doesn’t conform with society.

All these horrible people hate being called weird because it’s what they having been calling us the whole time, but in more specific ways. I feel using it as a slur now just reinforces the negative connotations and validate their view.

Update: semantic satiation to the rescue. Weird became a meme and a trend everyone wanted to take part and use regardless of it making sense.

[-] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

Isn't that a matter of behavior? The crack is doing something expected from a crack and the system warns you because most wouldn't use it without being aware. If you really trust the file, add it as an exception.

Or do you want a software that can vet good cracks from bad cracks?

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

The problem with tipping not being an extra is that one theoretically ends up paying the waiter's salary directly without being in a direct work relation with them. The restaurant pays people to be there, the clients pay the people to provide a service, the restaurant doesn't share their profits with their employees, the clients are pressured to decide how much of that profit should be shared and generate that number on the side.

It's the old two categories being exploited and pitied against each other.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago

I read it as being at least one of the three. If it's not kind, is it a relevant fact? If it's only your opinion, does that contribute to the discussion?

I think the questions are a tool to make us aware of our behavior. People have issues and can get triggered without noticing and engage in a conversation to their own detriment. Be kind is generic. Do you really want to attack and cause harm to someone else (someone might, BTW)? Are you using facts as a weapon? Is it in your best interest to say something, or in the interest of something positive?

Also, if the reason is to distract yourself, that's a reason. It's not a good reason all the time though.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago

I think that's exactly the point. The current situation is already bad, tools that reinforce the bad part of the system shouldn't be accepted.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 2 years ago

I don't know your friend, but he may feel like he's losing you as well. The world is burning and cishet men have trouble finding a place to be safe. We assume they don't need one, but most of the space they have is not good.

It's hard to do what I'm going to suggest when you are suffering as well, so put yourself first. Forget any groups, treat you two as your community and ask what exactly is bothering him. What happens that make him feel oppressed? How does you supporting another community harm him? If anything else, his pain is real, he can't put it into words and end up invalidated. That's actually a point you have in common, you may start there.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

Just an alternative here. You don't have to explain your gender, you just have to explain how you want to be treated.

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elfpie

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