this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2023
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I did xtc a few times and it profoundly changed the way I viewed myself and the world. I was very lonely and extremely depressed, and it helped me see that my intense self hate wasn't based on anything and wasn't justified. It also gave a huge boost to my empathy for other people, especially my cognitive empathy which I struggle with as an autistic person, and made it so I could actually open up to other people. The first time doing lsd it was like a nuclear bomb of empathy and understanding and perspective went off in my head. With both substances though, consequent trips were fun, but never as profound as the first (few) time(s), and I lost interest. I knew a bunch of people who did massive amounts of either or both every weekend. Can't say I understand why, they must get something different out of it then me.
Then I discovered amphetamine and had a massive struggle with that for 8 years, lol. Different brains react very differently to the same substances.