if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
No worries. Just wanted to provide some context. Given you didn't realize where you were posting, its fine. But yeah, you're basically saying the same things as lot of people have dealt with. Memes like this one are common because of how common people get it. The exact details or examples given might vary. This is a problem a lot of communities have to deal with. r/Fuck_cars is another community that had a constant influx of people spamming the same things and surprised when people are rude to them. Even if their arguments aren't mainstream opinions, those types of communities tend to attract those types of people.
Personally, I don't care about dude, but I think gendered language in general is kinda ick and would prefer if all language was gender neutral (but don't push that only others - don't want people thinking I'm one of those people who complain about trans people upholding traditional gender cause that's another all too common argument).