if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
Really? I thought approaching the dude/bro/buddy issue from a linguistic perscriptivism vs descriptivism perspective was at least a somewhat novel approach, and worth bringing up for discussion if anyone felt comfortable doing so with me.
I personally have met transphobes that will make this argument so they don't have to out themselves as transphobic in groups that might not accept them going mask off about it. I'm not saying you're doing it, but it feels kinda similar to when transphobes go out of their way to use they/them pronouns for people when they're talking to someone who is very obviously presenting in specific gendered ways. are they and them generally gender neutral? yeah, obviously but there's certain contexts where it's totally not the best way to talk to/about people.