this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024
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The non-offensive word I have seen used for a person who seeks out relationships with homosexual people despite being the opposite gender is “beard”. This is derived from the fact that it helps the male in the relationship present outwardly as a “real man” with a “normal relationship” in settings/societies where homosexuality is not considered acceptable to one degree or another. Also, sometimes homosexual couples of opposite genders will “beard” for each other in a mutually-beneficial dynamic.
edit: it seems spoiler text doesn’t work right on a lot of mobile apps, including voyager. Anyways: watch For All Mankind. It’s great.
I'm not sure they're actually the same thing tho. Beards are used by gay men to seem straight. The term my mom used was against the women who just had a fetish for gay men.
Yeah, a beard is a mutually beneficial arrangement. You won't see straight women trying to pick up gay men on Grindr because they want to be a beard. They'll be doing it because they fetishize turning them straight or whatever.
My parents had some friends who did exactly this for Prom since every attendee was required to have an opposite-sex date. They met the requirement to go through the front door then promptly split and found their actual date for the night (or their friend group if they were single)