this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
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Facepalm
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I mean... having a discussion about what you are going to do, what your boundaries are, and what turns you on is a really mature and, honestly, sexy thing to do.
I've had a few hook ups over the years where we have definitely popped out our phones (generally after confirming we have a couple condoms and before we start getting undressed) to record the quick clip of "I, so and so, consent to having sex with this person". Hell, an ex and I realized that the first picture we had together as a couple was her yelling " is gonna fuck my brains out tonight" and me saying "I'm gonna stick my pee-pee into 's vagina" into our phones while laughing.
But also? Once you get out of the novelty of "I'm having sex!" being the be all end all? The first time with a new partner REALLY sucks. Neither of you know what the other is into and you are figuring out the geometry of your bodies and what positions will be comfortable. Having that conversation about liking to have your hair pulled or your nipples being too sensitive or whatever not only ensures that neither party feels "dirty" afterward but also gives you a cheat sheet to make it feel good for all parties.