this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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  • authenticity -> real and genuine

  • autonomy -> seperate individual (not enmeshed)

  • curiosity -> growth mindset and learning constantly

  • growth -> improving functioning and increased awareness of change and adapting to new circumstances

  • peace -> absence of conflict and abnegation of other people's drama/entitlements

  • pleasure -> enjoying or benefitting from the actions I take and consequences of those I maintain relationships with

  • respect -> genuine care for recognizing and upholding other's needs where it is safe and not incompatible with your own

  • reciprocity -> balanced approach to give/take and being mutually-attentive to signs of imbalance

  • safety -> avoiding things, people, places, situations that hurt you or cause you to be unable to enforce the protections you need to accomodate yourself in the context

  • stabillity -> expectation of consistency and balance and sustainabillity in one's relationship with anything/anyone.

These are sort of a rough outline of mine, how about yours Lemmings? Mine aren't exhaustive but these are the core simplest profile I could break down. Feel free to steal anything and add to your collection ;)

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

How do I want to be treated?

Probably most other people want the same.

How do I feel when I'm not treated with kindness or respect?

How do I feel when I'm misunderstood or wrongly accused?

Probably most other people feel the same.

I know I'm not perfect at this. But at the end of the day, when I'm reflecting on my day's interactions, I'm thinking of how I could have done things better. And hopefully over time I'll be the kind of person I'd like to encounter and maybe even be friends with. That's all we can hope for, to leave tiny breadcrumbs of positivity and to be remembered fondly.

There's a lot of divisiveness and hostility and cognitive biases in the world today. I don't think it needs to be this way but I also think it's largely outside our ease to control. Holding onto and constantly reflecting upon our core values, values I believe most other people share, may help regain our control and our humanity.