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You should absolutely cut off your shitty friends and family members (hexbear.net)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I feel there is very little we can do individually to change people's minds or turn them away from fascism, or even to get them to stop turning their own brains into soup, but you can still show them there are consequences to their actions.

Telling my own friends / relations what I think of them and cutting ties with them has done nothing to bring them back in line with normal human values, but at least I am not burdened with the guilt of my association, and maybe one day enough people will cut them off that the loneliness gets to them and they begin to re-evaluate their lives.

It is literally the least I can do. Any sadness I felt was heartbreak that they could be so shitty to begin with.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago (1 children)

There's a middle path that's being overlooked in this post. We can flexibly move closer/ draw away as people and relationships change, because people and relationships are always changing.This strategy leaves us in a more powerful position. And some changes in opinion/ politics, in my opinion, don't even need to register. I'm not 100% responsible for my dumbass friends. Maybe like 15% responsible.

I'm not saying NEVER cut anyone out, but defaulting to cutting people out results in a lot of dysfunction. The most abusive friend I ever had would just chop people off and smear their reputations over any level of disagreement, and I was complicit in that. Looking back, it was as if they had 0 doubts or flexibility about their beliefs.

Because I'm very agreeable, I was last to be cut out. Then, they were alone. I had to spend a lot of time unlearning the black and white thinking and bad habits I picked up from them. Thought I would share so you don't make the mistakes I did.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

This is true. As I've gotten older I've learned to hide my feelings a bit and just like people less. It's useful for managing life and avoiding hard drama.