this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 63 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

What she's referring to isn't the same as having emotions. She means the people who expect everyone around them, especially their romantic partner, to manage their emotions for them. Plenty of women do it, too.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I don't know anyone like that. I do know we are plenty of people who are drama queens.

But that's not really the same thing as having emotions people with functional emotions are actually fine, it's the ones that don't have emotions but do have an awful lot of opinions that are the problem.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No, that's the narcissist. She's referring to having to help someone with their emotional needs. Sounds moreso like she needs to work on her own if it's laborious to support her partner emotionally.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Expecting your partner to be your personal therapist is not cool but it's also not necessarily narcissism.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ah, so they key is to have your own therapist, and a partner that doesn't give two shits about your emotional well being. gotcha.

cuz being an emotionally supportive partner means becoming their personal therapist. cool cool, you sound fun

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Who said anything about that? You can share your emotions with your partner in a way where you don't expect them to be your personal therapist. Generally, it's healthy to have a support network, preferably not just one person and especially not just one person who isn't even a professional.

When you share your feelings with a therapist, that exchange is in one direction, you should never have to emotionally support your therapist. That is however not how it should be with a partner, in a romantic relationship both people should be able to share their emotions and receive support, and that isn't possible if one person is treating the other as if they were a therapist and not giving them the space to share their emotions in turn.

Most things in life are about balance, just because you don't agree with something all the way one side (e.g. there is no way to create an unhealthy relationship dynamic by sharing your emotions, regardless of how you do it) doesn't mean that you agree with something all the way to the other side (i.e. you shouldn't give two shits about your partner's emotional well-being).

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

in a romantic relationship both people should be able to share their emotions and receive support

Expecting your partner to be your personal therapist is not cool

I was replying to someone up there who was shitting on men with emotions. Because they equated having them with being a bad partner. My point is that emotions are normal and wanting an emotionally supportive partner isn't the same as treating them like a therapist.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Who was shitting on men with emotions? I haven't seen that at all.

wanting an emotionally supportive partner isn't the same as treating them like a therapist

We agree on that, you can do one without doing the other.