this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
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Telling your manager how shit they are is very satisfying too
It's not worth it if you chase money. Even the biggest assholes at your previous job might end up in a place adjacent to you, especially if you don't look internationally (or at least out of your area) for jobs.
Naw that's the lie they want you to believe. Tell your manager to fuck off; you'll never see them again.
If you want an anecdote, I was cordial when leaving my last job while pursuing something with much more risk. To my surprise, my manager said the door is always open if I want to come back.
It cost me nothing to be nice, and it gave me a free safety net. You never know what opportunities you'll get, so be nice, help others, and put in a tiny bit of effort.
Or don't, but I recommend considering it
Tell you manager what went wrong politely if necessary, being rude in a professional setting may look cool in some fantasy but nothing good will come out of it.
It really doesn't matter at all. You're quitting. You already have a new job lined up. You will never interact with these people again. Nobody asks for references outside of minimum wage positions unless they're a small shop.
I've found this to be highly variable over my past few career moves.
My resume indicates that professional references are available upon request.
In my last two job searches, I've had responses ranging from absolutely zero interest in references, to not only requesting the ones I indicated but also asking for even more names and contacts.
Obviously your mind is already made up, but in my experience, it seems the wise move to stay professional in your professional life, even when leaving a bad job.
I am a mid career enginer, I was requested two references, one colleague and one manager, for my current job.
What is your reason for telling your manager to fuck off? Ego satisfaction for 5 min? What about thinking that if you tell him what went wrong, maybe they can improve, which may improve the work conditions of your ex colleagues? I find that more satisfying. I always try to raise my voice to improve my ex-colleagues conditions before I leave because I'm freer to speak up.
Every career job I've ever left has included my manager helping me to secure a higher position at the new job. I disliked some of those managers.
A big part in learning how to be successful is learning when it's worth it to be petty and when you should just take your money.
That's interesting. I've never once had that happen.
The bigger employers I've left just didn't care and were already looking into how to replace me while I was finishing out my last two weeks. The smaller ones always were concerned with squeezing as much production out of my last few hours as they possibly could.
In neither case were they ever interested in my career beyond their doors.
Field could definitely play a role as well.
I wouldn't recommend burning any bridges you don't have to.
Though my last employer was pissed when I got an offer for 30% more when he spent the last 6 months training me.
He immediately counter-offered to match and he didn't even have to check with anyone. I called him out on underpaying me by 30%. This was probably a mistake, but he was kind of an asshole anyway so meh.