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All forms of queer news and culture. Nonsectarian and non-exclusionary.

See also this community's sister subs Feminism, Neurodivergence, Disability, and POC

Beehaw currently maintains an LGBTQ+ resource wiki, which is up to date as of July 10, 2023.

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trans and nonbinary people (and cis if you apply!), how did you pick your name? (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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just interested in hearing peoples stories for how y’all have chosen your new names! doesn’t have to be particularly profound or interesting really, i just like hearing about others experiences.

i’m actually planning on changing my own soon socially despite being cis, and just really like hearing how others came to find their names, as well as am curious about if anyone had to go through more than one to find what’s right for them. i figured this would be the best community to talk about the topic even if i’m not trans :)

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In the UK, it's really easy, as both first names and surnames can be changed with a deed poll. This is basically a document that details your new and old name, signed by two people that aren't related to you that you have known for at least two years. We don't really have defined "legal names" here, so the deed poll is accepted by most organisations to change your records (PayPal were weirdly annoying about it, even after I'd changed my driving licence and passport with zero fuss.)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

PayPal still has my deadname, tbh. I just didn't care enough to send them all the documentation they wanted, given that it would have been enough to allow anyone on their staff to steal my identity if they wanted.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

PayPal are a nightmare for changing names, they really are. They're the only organisation I had any trouble with. What I did in the end was close my old account and open a new one under the same email address, which then required just my new driving licence as proof of ID, like any other new customer. Oh, and I got an apology from customer services for that being the only solution.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Oof. An apology is nice, but a user-friendly experience would be better. I signed up long ago that I didn’t have to give a driver’s license, but did have to give a checking account, and when I changed my name, they said they would change it on my account if I sent a driver’s license, and I think my legal name change paperwork. Which was doable, but I care more about having some semblance of privacy than I do about having my payment information be accurate. I don’t want anyone to have that much information about me unless I am getting something extremely valuable in exchange. I just think of it as having some random woman paying for my eBay purchases. It’s sort of disturbing to think about how long ago all of that was, lol.