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The important thing is that you feel satisfied with what you do or achieve. In my family there is a lot of pressure to be “successful” but after a while I decided that I have to be happy with whatever things I can achieve, and believe me, after that change in my mindset, good things began to happen with apparently no efforts. So as other ones are saying, believe en yourself, don’t be so harsh on your past or decisions, and remember that there is no race or goals you need to get, you create your own life.
I'm pretty harsh on my past, I just don't see why I shouldn't. I can find all the things I shouldn't be doing there, all the mistakes I did and some still do. I'd try to be as far away as possible and never come back.
I actually do feel pressurized. Time flows so fast. My birthdays come and go in a blink, as if, they don't even feel that special anymore. And when I go to sleep, I miss a gold. It's so fast I can't make the right steps all the time and accidentally step on sht so often. And there is no map either, except the wrongly written guides that just make you step more on sht for some reason.
One of the things I realized becomming an adult is that no one has life figured out. We're all just fumbling around trying to do our best, whatever that means to us. Anyone that tells you otherwise is trying to sell you bullshit.
I definitely understand feeling like time is moving fast. It feels like just yesterday I was graduating high school myself. There isn't really much you can do about that except try to hold onto the moment when you're living in it. Not worrying so much about the past or future.
I think you should look into speaking with a therapist. You sound so overwhelmed and stressed out, and I think you could really benefit from talking to someone that isn't a faceless commentator on a website.