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[–] 57 points 2 years ago (11 children)

*Gabe starts gesturing to his lawyer to do something*

"Just answer the question."

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  • [–] 43 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    I mean the simple response from the lawyer is, "Objection, relevance," and the question gets tossed out.

    I demand accuracy in my jokes, even if it kills them.

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  • [–] 37 points 2 years ago* (6 children)

    "Objection, relevance?"

    "Public interest."

    (Though in my joke I meant his lawyer, instead of objecting, would entreat his client to answer the question)

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    Ah, I understand now. [MODIFYING JOKE MATRIX TO ACCOMMODATE NEW INFORMATION]

    "Your honor, I need to fire my lawyer."

    "Mr Newell, no competent lawyer in this country would defend you on this point. If you do not answer the question I will hold you in contempt."

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)
  • [–] 37 points 2 years ago*

    Gaben will then slowly drop his head and whisper into the microphone with a wry chuckle - "You fool. You have just activated my trap card."

    Immediately, the Half Life 3 release will drop. Gaben has been holding it back, continuously updating for decades, awaiting exactly this moment. The judge, completely flabbergasted at the proceedings will immediately declare a mistrial. Legal scholars will then study the "Gaben defense" for decades.

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