this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 year ago (5 children)

My conservative neighbor is convinced in a conspiracy theory that TSwifty dating Travis Kelce is a scheme to get people to get the COVID vaccine. I wish I was joking, but he's 100% serious.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why’s he so concerned? Even if true, he could just shake it off, shake it off.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's cause he has a blank space, probably can barely write his name

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He sounds like a nightmare, dressed like a hayseed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

It's him. Hi. He's the problem, it's him.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I still don't understand how these magats and conservative conspiracy theorists can think Covid was some deep state attempt at thought control when Trump was the one who takes all the credit for the vaccine

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Reich-wingers have no trouble believing in contradictory things, it's like 1984's doublethink.

If a leftist talks about vaccines they're a bad thing and have microchips in them to sterilize you or something.

If their Führer says the vaccines only happened thanks to him the vaccines are the best thing ever and will even cure homosexuality

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Even less credible than the Chiefs fan I know who has theorized that she's scheming to break his heart at some point during the playoffs in order to cost the team a Superbowl run.

I don't think he's serious, but I'm not 100% sure about it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

“And why did Taylor’s dad put $50 million on the chiefs to lose? FOLLOW THE MONEY, PEOPLE.”

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People think Yoko ruined The Beatles when it was just everything building up to the inevitable. Shit, George tried to quit first.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fun fact: Yoko Ono was a little girl living in Tokyo when the United ~~Starts~~ Sharts firebombed the city in 1945. Maybe that explains the screaming, I dunno.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How would that even work?

I must not be up on my pop culture.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Buckle up. Here's his theory.

  1. COVID is a fake disease.

  2. The vaccine is part of some sinister government plot (to do what, only be knows).

  3. Kelce was in a commercial promoting the vaccine, obviously he's working closely with the government for nefarious purposes.

  4. Kelce isn't popular with young women. Enter T Swifty.

  5. Rather than simply have Tay Tay star in her own vaccine commercials, the government decided to have her date Kelce and therefore increase his popularity with her fanbase, therefore making them get the vaccine.

  6. ???

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

originally the cookers where saying we were all supposed to drop dead in 18 months. then they changed it to 2 years. now I hear them saying 5 year plan to depoluate the earth. why a sinister organisation would kill all the compliant people and keep the stupid trouble makers around is anyone's guess.

also, anytime some dies of literally anything, they jump up and down and blame the vaccine. one time I saw them doing this and the family came out to note the deceased was unvaxxed lol.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The problem with all these conspiracy nuts is that they can never answer one simple question. Why the theatrics? If what you say is true it would be incredibly expensive, require vast amounts of resources, and strict compliance like nothing the world has seen before. If this is all about "controlling us", and the deep state/shadow government is as powerful as they claim whats with the theater? Wouldn't it be easier, faster, and cheaper to just send in the Shadow government military forces to drag us all into the streets and say comply or die?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'm pretty sure whenever it comes out that the deceased was unvaxxed it becomes part of the deep state conspiracy to silence dissenters

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I mean, when you break it down like that, I guess I don't see how I missed it before. Lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

That's some Charlie Kelly whiteboard shit right there.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How many guns does he have? (definitely a few)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He reloads his own ammo, if that helps answer your question.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That is a funny and nuanced answer

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Please explain