this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 105 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out they talk on the phone ~~like this~~

[–] [email protected] 62 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out they talk ~~on the phone~~

[–] [email protected] 54 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Imagine meeting the love of your life ~~and then finding out they talk on the phone~~

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Imagine meeting the love of you~~r life~~

[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Imagine there’s no rest of the sentence. Then who was phone???

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Oh my god bear was phone! How can that be?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Don't hurt me, no more

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out she breathes.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out they're a real living human being.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

God I wish. I hate having novel length text conversations. Texting for one off quick or cute sentences. Telephone for detailed conversation.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Voice messages live somewhere in the middle there.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure why but I dislike voice messages. Either text or just call

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I'm not typing out a long ass text message.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Then you should call because I'm not listening to your voice message

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No you should listen to my voice message because I'm not calling 😀

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I'm sorry but not happening, hope it wasn't important

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My voice mailbox is full and a refuse to empty it. If you want to leave me a message, send me a text.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Voice message, not voicemail. It's like a text message but with your voice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Ahhh those. Yeah I'm fine with those. Text me the voicemail lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Imagine meeting the phone of your love and then finding out they talk on their live like this

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Imagine meeting the phone of your dreams and caressing it lovingly and leaking bodily fluids..

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's how you get a bloated battery STD ...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Damn, that reminds me, I should replace my own battery soon. How do you replace human batteries though? 🤔

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Idk, I've been running on emergency auxiliary power, even diverting power from life support, for years now. Lights are getting dimmer now.

Obviously I lack a built-in charging capability, so taking the batteries out just means shutting down before replacing them with new ones.

But others are suggesting cocaine. It supposedly boosts you lithium ions (I assume), and also postpones the memory effect of, em, li-ion batteries.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If you're running on auxiliary power, you should eat the phone by now and conserve your calories. Make sure to boil your urine though. Stay safe, if you need assistance you can always call [redacted].

/s

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

This voids the warranty, unfortunately

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Meet the love of your life and then imagine taking