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Who cares about red flags in people. What are your green flags (lemm.ee)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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[โ€“] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

I'm not a vegan but I think you are completely biased here.

The vast majority of vegans that you know are the ones who are vocal about it. Most vegans aren't, and so they are overrepresented by those who are.

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  • [โ€“] -2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Yes, I did mention the bias in my comment, and again in someone else's reply. To clarify, veganism is a yellow flag specifically because if I know about it, there is a decent chance it's because they were annoying about it. If vegans were actually just all like that, it'd be a red flag

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  • [โ€“] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Yes, annoying vegans who are very pushy about vegans exists. However, It seems like your bias stems from your intolerance towards any mentioning of veganism.

    A vegan saying 'I am vegan' would be annoying to you, as if existing as a vegan is an offense. This is what you sound like when you say veganism is a yellow flag.

    Personally, I find that there are far more meat eaters out there who are much more vocal and annoying about hating vegans than there actual annoying vegans. I like eating meat, but I don't find that I need to be defensive about it around vegans.

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  • [โ€“] 0 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    You misunderstand my "intolerance". I don't care if someone's a vegan. I'm annoyed that I stated my green flag, and then a vegan came here to assert that my green flag should be something different and vegan. I was defensive because I was defending my position. In my experience, people who go out of their way to make the conversation about veganism are as preachy as Christians trying to convert you. It's a yellow flag, meaning it's not a red flag, but it makes me watch out, because it's associated with behaviors I don't like. It's like men who call themselves Doms, and people who are just super into WW2 military history. There is a non-neglible chance that it's gonna go from something innocuous to a red flag

    I don't hate vegans; I'm not saying someone is a bad person because they're vegans; I'm saying that too many times a vegan has come out of nowhere unprovoked to act like they're morally superior. I am just as annoyed by meat eaters who go out of their way to talk about being carnivores and how great they think they are

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  • [โ€“] 0 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Comparing veganism to toxic masculinity is just wild. You have a completely skewed perception of what the vast majority of vegans are like out there.

    You think that the act of vegans existing is morally superior, whether or not they've said or done anything.

    Nothing is being misunderstood here. You don't get to say 'I don't care if someone's a vegan' and then say 'veganism is a yellow flag' in the same breath. That's some cognitive dissonance if I've seen any before.

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  • [โ€“] 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

    There is a whole lot of misunderstanding here. I didn't even mention toxic masculinity, but I'm assuming you mean the asshole male Doms. The comparison begins and ends with too many of them being wholly unpleasant about it, and so when I hear someone say either of those things, I approach it with caution. That's it. That's what a yellow flag is

    I've already clarified on this and other comment chains how I do recognize the bias in how the annoying vegans are the ones I know about, and how I don't know the vegans that don't make it my problem. I do not think that vegans existing. There is no "whether or not they've said something"; it's explicitly ABOUT them saying something. That's the problem

    I don't know how to make it clearer than that. I don't care of someone is a vegan; If someone goes out of their way to talk about their veganism, I raise an eyebrow; If a vegan brings it up to insist their way of life is better, that's a red flag

    Edit to add: Reading back on the comments, I wanna add further clarification that the original commenter who was "the annoying vegan" stereotype was such because I mentioned my green flag, and they insisted that veganism should be a part of that green flag. It isn't to me, and one does not get to tell me what my green flags are. That's that vegan moral superiority at work. I didn't bring up my diet, and the implication sure felt like "If you aren't vegan, your 'empathy towards animals' isn't real"

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