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Did I miss the boat on having a social life?
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this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2023
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neurodiverse
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What is Neurodivergence?
It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc
“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”
So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned
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2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence
2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals
3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.
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I think you're getting bogged down by what I call narrativistic inertia (there's probably a better term for it). We exist in a complex world, inundated by a constant stream of data, and we make sense of it through associations and patterns and selections that coalesce into a sort of narrative that we use to understand everything and ourselves. These narratives are both useful and limiting. Useful in that they allow us to make some sort of sense out of chaos, but limiting in that we're necessarily ignoring or de-emphasizing a large portion of the data presented to us, or arbitrarily associating some data points to other data points. It's tremendously helpful to identify when an emphasis or association isn't serving us so we can attempt to adjust the narrative we're using to understand ourselves. Psychedelics may be useful here.
Unnecessarily long-winded intro aside, the idea that it's "too late" to do something or become someone is a restrictive, self-producing narrative. People develop new skills and relationships throughout their entire life. A person who wasn't able to follow a mythical narrative of social interaction throughout early life isn't just done, there's no actual ship that's sailed, no barrier for entry that only allows 20-somethings to socialize.
That's not to ignore the underlying material factors that make forming relationships difficult. Capitalist alienation, consumerization of identities, enclosure of public spaces, interpersonal difficulties all increase the energy required to form connections with people. But a defeatist ideal has no chance of influencing the material conditions for the better.
The reality is no one actually has it "figured out" by high school, college, or any age. We all strive towards an unachievable pure connection with others, never quite succeeding but potentially having some cool experiences along the way.
This is all abstract and big-picture, the little every-day strategies and skills are something that must also be examined. But in my personal experience at least, a defeatist self-narrative is a difficult foundation to build from.