this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2023
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Yeah, gotta say my time doing psychedelics was life-changing. I had been exiting that anti-sjw phase of my life for a while, but smoking weed made me chill the fuck out and psychedelics made me internalize the chilling the fuck out long term.
Wouldn't say they made me an atheist. I've made some bad decisions with drugs and have had a near death experience with the full psychedelic release. It's VERY similar to DMT and whippets. They're extremely creepy, you realize you're dead and come to terms with it within 15 minutes of real time. The benevolence of most mammals having that final 15 minutes even though at that point you're dead, makes me believe there's something or someone out there that serves as a grand architect. It's the only way I can personally rationalize my brain doing THAT a few times.
There was one time I took way too much DOC and had a life changing experience. I was tripping for 24 hours, felt like I lost all meaning of myself, was filled with despair, but felt connected to everything and everyone. Afterwards I found the term "ego death" and well... yeah that happened.
While I'm an atheist now, I was raised catholic and really believed in everything until 20 or so. Without experiencing that ego death, I might still believe today.
I understand, we all walk different paths, I find it interesting to hear what other people believe and experience as long as it stays casual. I've done a few psychedelics and a lot of crazy ass poly mixes, but still haven't experienced ego death. I'm starting to think maybe I don't have an identity to actually forget about. Even when I kholed on 2 tabs I was still who I was.
What do you think of the DOx family? Been curious about them for a while, but haven't gone out of my way to look for them because I have mixed results with amphetamines. Anything you'd compare it to?
I think the ego death was beautiful. I changed so much as a person because of it. Hard to believe who I was before. A lot of trauma was unpacked and coming to terms with who I really am.
DOC was very similar to LSD but the dosage was difficult to manage. Only had two trips. One was too little and felt like microdosing. Other was too much and.. 24 hours is a lot. I remember shaking nonstop during it. I also remember being scared of a dark figure following me. But near the end I realized I was just scared of my own shadow.