Basically being left out of the group but for life 😀
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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Love being told "it took me a while to understand you. You just say what you mean and don't hide anything. It's kinda weird. You're too honest and it creeps me out."
That person is no longer an associate of mine.
I’ve been told “people can change their mind” more times than I can count
Fuck me for expecting people to say what they mean, right?
I'm still coming to grips with this being part of being on the spectrum and I've felt this all my life. Only recently got daliagnosed.
For a long, long time, I just marked it up as me being "brutally honest" when I realized I can't even say white lies to save people from hurt feelings or whatever. It's a whole nother world realizing how frustrating existing has been trying to wade through what people are actually saying.
I've found omitting key information to be a good substitute for fabricating lies when I need to deceive.
This is actually what I'm trying to work on. My therapist is also trying to help me to not overshare being a dirty commie by answering a question with a question.
I inadvertantly told the preacher at my wife's church that I'm reading marxist literature and then I sort of freaked a bit. My therapist said if he asks about it again in the future, to just be like "yeah, have you read anything from Marx?"
Incredibly based
In my defense, I think he's sort of left leaning as it is, scholarly, and at least well read in progressive theology. The church we go to has been going through a reformation of sorts after they realized a few years ago that women exist. They've always had non-conservative preachers since I've been around and I think they went with this guy last year when they hired him because he's young and progressive.
At the time I said it, I felt like he might have been able to be ok with it but in hindsight, I kind of regret it. I normally tell people I "read economic theory stuff" and let them extrapolate what they will from that.
And tbf, he really is a decent person so far.
Bro saaame about always being called "brutally honest"
Like for instance someone asking what you think of their cooking. I'm a cook. So I'm gonna give my honest opinion and even point out where it can be made better or if made a mistake they might not realize is a mistake in the first place. This is what I would want someone to do if I asked the question.
But no you're apparently supposed to just say "its really good thanks for making it!" and that just boggles my mind to no end.
Oh my fucking god. And the same person who says it’s really good will have no trouble talking about how shit it was when the person who made it isn’t around
And that person was just “being nice” not lying
What no you are gaslighting them.
I wouldn't use the word 'mistake' unless I'm admitting something I've done was unintentional. When it's someone else, I just point out "Most restaurants do it this way instead, because X, or Doing Y makes your dish more Z"
Right? It's totally gaslighting what we are expected to say just out of "politeness"
But mistake and a difference of technique are two completely different things. It is mind boggling that saying something is a mistake is considered rude.
"You fucked up" vs "The pros do it differently but it reminds me of them because otherwise why would I bring it up"