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If you look up studies on "incels" you'll find most report that incels have an incredibly high rate of mental health disorders, mostly untreated and sometimes undiagnosed. Issues like depression, anxiety, and autism are very common. These mental health issues affect their ability to form social connections which can eventually lead to inceldom where they surround themselves with other incels and feed off each other. I read one study that called this "tendency for interpersonal victimhood (TIV)".
Upbringing could certainly have an effect on people's mental health, but not everyone with mental health issues is an incel. Becoming an incel is an extra step only some take and I don't think anyone truly knows how it happens.
I found that paper. Its in interesting read, but it only seemed tangentially related to incel behavior. It seemed much more focused on something like...the arguments that "white supremacists" use.
I found the paper again. It's this one
Just a minor but important point: being neurodivergent is not a "mental health disorder."
I do agree it plays a role in boys becoming incels, but it's not in the same category as depression or anxiety disorders.
Edit for the replies I got: I strongly believe our society needs to stop looking at neurodivergent people as somehow "wrong" or "messed up." Your brain is your brain just like your skin color is your skin color, and no should be discriminated against for either. In this case, it really is society that needs change, not the individual. It's uncomfortable or even traumatic for the individual because of how other people react to them, not because of who they fundamentally are. Having to Face all the time, being forced into far too stimulating situations, having very few people understand your needs while at the same time foisting their expectations on you is exhausting. And it shouldn't have to be this way.
As someone neurodivergent I would say it either is a disorder, otherwise everyone normal has the disorder. It has also caused me a great deal of anxiety and depression from being different and whatever else. None of it led to incel tendencies in my case and I just felt like nobody liked me because I was different from them. I couldn't get along with other divergent kids either. Sometime into my several years of incessant migraines and hating everything and wanting to die, I became able to talk and react to people in a way that generally didn't make them react differently to me as they did to others. I think the migraines made me worse though.