To be clear, if I'm the operator of the Linux server on which Lemmy is deployed, I can use tools like tcpspy to pull information about the TCP/IP connections to my server on a given port. Obviously, this is simply the TCP/IP packets, which is going to be a sea of bots, internet crawlers, and other automated systems attempting to access my box because it's on the internet, which will likely dwarf the legitimate connections to the box.
I guess it's more likely though, you'll be monitoring the box between the outside internet and the actual server (like an Nginx reverse proxy) but I could probably extract which IPs were going to Mylemmy.ml instead of my boxes IP address directly, but that's outside the scope of my knowledge. I simply know that, once you own the box that someone else is connecting to, there is networking data you now have access to that can lead to identifying a person.