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How do I tell someone that a mutual friend is trans without dead naming them? (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Context: I am visiting a high school friend. Another friend who we both knew in high school has posted some interesting things recently. This friend has changed their name, but the friend I am visiting is not following them and is not aware of their transition.

How do I bring up this friend without dead naming them?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

To be clear, their transition has been quite public and there is no question of acceptance by this friend. It is simply a circumstance of lives going in different directions that these two people are not actively friends and there is not a safety question.

Edit: I see your edit and obviously this is an easy solution given infinite time, but tends to break the flow of conversation...

I know not all transitions are the same but is there a general rule for this sort of situation.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

just use their old name once when introducing the new name

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Yeah this is the answer. It's okay to dead name when you're telling someone of a name change. After that, correct them every time if they don't use their new name.