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Daily Discussion Thread: Sun 01 Oct 2023
(aussie.zone)
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this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2023
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Uuuurgggh...
rant about shitty situation with estranged parent
Very much estranged dad has lost all his savings to a scam AGAIN, but he won't accept help or advice to figure these out. Probably because he's hiding more instances of giving conwomen heaps of money after their transparently fake sob story and is embarrassed - image means a lot to him (he is not very smart and doesn't realise most people with a brain don't have a high opinion of him anyway).None of my problem - buuut i was just reminded today by someone else that the home country has a stupid dumbshit law that can compel children to provide financial maintenance to their parents if they are able to and haven't been doing so. Only cases of severe abuse or neglect are exempted (which "sadly" isn't the case here). He doesn't even have to do anything, the hospitals can start going after children if he can't pay the bills apparently.
I don't want anything to do with that man, I was going to sleep soundly but now I'm restless. Nothing's happened yet but we have to get on top of this, no wonder he's been pestering people for my phone number again this year. I'd renounce my home country citizenship as soon as I got my Australian one and escape it all, if not for it impacting my mums housing situation...
Need distraction...
hmm. I don't have any advice but we are here for you if you need us that sounds awful.
That sounds really difficult and very stressful for you. Can you get legal advice so you know where you stand?
My brother's looked into it; unfortunately most legal advice for these things is useless - unless we can meet the high standard of proof for abuse or neglect we can't get out of it - and several others have been in a similar situation. We can't do much legally until he can be medically proven to be incompetent but he's not there yet either, just phenomenally stupid...
Trying to rearrange our finances to prove that we can't assist him could also backfire hugely. We're gonna keep trying to figure out how we can get to him to stop doing this shit in the first place. There is one relative he listens to, it's the nuclear option and there will be fallout but I'm going to push for it...
Jesus Christ kitten! That's shocking. They lose all their money stupidly and then can go after their kids money? Where is the incentive to be an adult responsible for their own actions, like we teach our kids to become in the first place! I'd be fucking livid.
It comes from an attempt to instil traditional values of filiel piety - that as parents support their children, children must return the favour to their parents and support them in their dotage. It is a more communalist mindset and I can see how it could work harmoniously in the past but in our current day and age... I have major issues with this on a philosophical level because no child asks to be born. Every parent should care for their child without the expectation of something in return
"Every parent should care for their child without the expectation of something in return."
That is exactly how I feel. My children owe me nothing. I expect only the reward of being able to love them and guide them as they grow up, accompanied by the bittersweet paradox of knowing they must embark upon their own life journeys some day. They won't be around forever and neither will I (in a different sense). I don't expect my kids to be my carer or my provider and I wouldn't ask it of them. But I can see how in the past, as you say, things were different and it would've worked differently.