this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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As my sister in law said, even for expensive weddings, if you do things properly you'll end up making profit from the gifts you receive.
And yes, that's fucking disgusting.
I mean you're right, but I believe the converse is what she was getting at. Invite respectable guests and they will know the unwritten rule: bring a gift worth at least as much as your meal, drinks and party favors. It's not necessarily bad to expect that much.
I personally think that yes it's bad to expect that much. You're the one who decided to organize a party for a day that's all about you and your SO, it's not my problem how much you decided to spend on it. Even for my best friend's wedding I told him "You charge me something or expect me to give a gift worth X, I'm not going, it's your decision to do something special that day, you assume it, the day I invite you to a party I won't charge you or expect a gift."
I hate big weddings as much as anyone but the idea of bringing a gift isn't to "charge" you. It's that you want to help set up the newlyweds in their life together. The party is all about them but most of what they're spending is on things to make sure their guests have a great time. I'm sure it happens but I've never been to a wedding where anyone demanded a gift as the cost of entry.