this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2023
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Has anyone here ever successfully deprogrammed anyone from believing in the myth of welfare fraud, that the dems are giving handouts left and right, etc.? Asking because I've been talking to my mom and...look, I'm sorry, but the elevator just doesn't go to the top floor.

I graduated from college in May, and my parents have parent PLUS loans, and the monthly payment is $473. They're both complaining about the payment but boast about voting for Trump. Obviously, no, electoralism won't save anyone, but it's like talking to a brick wall when I explain to my mom that if she wants any chance of debt relief (or cares at all about the future of her disabled lesbian daughter), she can't vote Republican. But everything I say gets countered with "I don't think people should get handouts." When I ask what handouts Biden has given, eh can't come up with anything. Ironically, she frequently gripes about how her unemployment checks are usually late.

It's infuriating and honestly it's looking like our relationship will soon become a birthday and christmas only type of thing unless she shapes up. I'm sick of having family who actively support politics that harm me. I suppose it shouldn't be surprising when they both emotionally abused me for the better part of a quarter of a century. Having an actual support system irl seems so hopeless that I've been in a severe depressive episode for the past day.

Still, anyone had any luck with this? I keep explaining how the dems aren't a left wing party, neither party is for an abundance of benefits, etc. But it's like talking to a brick wall. I apologize if this post should've gone elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A couple ideas for you:

Work on easier people, tons of people are only a couple good conversations away and are a better use of your time. I know it is tough cause it is your mom but definitely something to consider.

Get away from the two party discussion. Focus on concrete issues she faces and ask a lot of questions on how she thinks it should be handled. If she is a hard work and no handouts sort who has had factory experience maybe unions could be an in. Or ask about what she considers the minimum acceptable lifestyle and dig in to how to get society there for all, even the hardworking and down on their luck. Like what hoops is she willing to jump through if she got hurt or sick.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Genuinely me, I was one conversation away and all it took was one of my sisters friends to explain what socialism actually is

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're right, there are easier people out there. Problem is that I don't have much of a social life irl, partially by choice, and partially due to being autistic. I have tried to explain unions and their benefits to her once before, and she just came at me with "UnIoN dUeS bAd."

The thing is that she's from WV and her dad was a coal miner for a union mine that had showers for the miners to use at the end of the workday. She's told me a story about how in the 80s, the union went on strike, and her dad went to work for the scab mine with no showers and how heartbreaking it was to see him come home covered in coal dust. Again, it's like the elevator just doesn't go all the way up. She has the pieces but refuses to put them together. Part of me thinks she's just a lost cause.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

If it's hurting your relation i think you should stop talking about it, people on the older side just simply can't face their contradictions and its better for your mental health to just stop trying.

I have an ultra-ameriboo dad and i have to hear the most unhinged shit every day, but i know his views will die with him. I've stopped taking him seriously a long time ago and it has been great for me.