this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2023
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No one owes you a social circle, so no one can deny it to you. Social connections are forged, not given. How can people you’ve never met lie about you? They can’t, by definition. There is absolutely no possibility that you’ve met every person even within your community, much less the world, in order to be able to make that assertion. It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists. Nearly everyone has had trauma in their life, many people have had trauma worse than can be imagined without experiencing it, and yet, they don’t become violently angry anti-social assholes.
Your response to trauma is a choice, and you have made a choice that prevents ever healing and creates further trauma.
There is no such thing as “earning” a social connection. You don’t deserve them, you cannot earn them or buy them or trade them. Again, you forge them. They are a product of mutual vulnerability and compatibility.
I made my friends from those who others rejected, and it made all of us stronger for it. I specifically seek out those in need and offer myself to them, and those who do not fit in other social circles. None of my friends are like me, we are all very different, with very different lifestyles and goals, and we do not even agree on basic things, yet because we have forged bonds together, no amount of difference can break us apart.
You assert many intentions to me, which is your right, however, it’s no surprise why you lack bonds when you treat people such and view the world through a warped, transactional point of view. There’s no brownie points in the real world, behaving like a human does not entitle you to friends. It is the bare minimum standard of mutual humanity. You must go farther than that.
Why do you assume the entire world is telling lies about you? Why do you care what other people say about you? Where are you that you genuinely think most people want to murder and dominate you, and what attempts have you made to relocate to somewhere more amenable to you? Do you find beauty in nature? Do you frequently engage with nature? How many social media accounts do you have? When was the last time you went to a social event by yourself where you know absolutely no one? How much time per day do you spend on self improvement, be it mental or physical? What are your goals for the immediate future? And further out?
Cheers, my angry friend.
So, you’re extrapolating your entire worldview based on experiences you had during school, a period of most people’s life notorious for tribalist cliques and irrational behaviors? School sucked for me too, that’s why I finished and didn’t go back. I’ve had all the classics, I’ve been pantsed, had a swirly, been physically beaten, robbed, stolen from, rumors spread about me, catfished before catfishing was a term, etc etc.
School sucks, the structure of it sucks, it encourages such behaviors and is filled with hierarchies and domination. The banking model of education is inherently flawed and hinders development of critical thinking and empathy, for sure. That doesn’t mean that all of humanity is that way though.
You say you’ve never even been to a social event outside of school, and that you have no mutual compatibility with ~~actions~~anyone. You have no hobbies you could share with anyone, nor do you believe there is anyone with a shared experience of school that might be a potential point of rapport? What do you do when you go to the book store, do you glare at the cashier because of your assumptions regarding them? Or do you greet them warmly and ask them how they are with genuine desire to know?
And whether or not I am your friend, you are my comrade. I care about unique, interesting people, and while we may not share a worldview, you most certainly are a unique and interesting person.
I've had a friend like that. It was hard cutting her off, but in the end our whole social circle agreed that was the right thing to do after enduring so much of her abuse over the years. She was crazy manipulative and always the victim, just like this dude.