[CW "C*CK" WORD] YES (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 46 points 1 day ago* (13 children)

I don't know if it's just me being more sensitive to reactionary nonsense but I feel like in the past few years people have gotten really weird about infidelity and monogamy in general. Don't get me wrong infidelity is always shitty behavior but people tend to have really weird overexaggerated guttural reactions to it nowadays that I feel like just weren't there before like 2020.

More broadly people tend to have more unhealthy expectations from their monogamous partners, like tracking each others locations always, texting all day long, not letting people hang out with the opposite gender, expecting many hours of attention from them every single day etc.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 13 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

    honestly, i think the technology is new, but this stuff has been going on a long time among a disturbingly large segment of the population.

    the tech tracking, the social media logins/sharing/spying were novel as they came online for sure, but that cohort of people have been around for as long as ive been around. (im old).

    if anything is truly new is that web 2.0 has made the sharing of the stories (and tactics) of control more common. it used to just be advice columns where someone anonymously wrote in to find out if some completely deranged controlling behavior (my spouse checks the mileage on my car, i cannot have my own checking account, i am not allowed to see friends and family without spouse) was normal.

    nowadays, the spying is easier to hide from the public so of course a freak can let their spouse out of their physical sight, because they're air tagged or whatever, and they can easily pressure them to take a video call and reveal their surroundings.

    people get caught up in the large institutional abuse of the tech panopticon, but forget fascism is also about empowering the mini tyrants of households to enforce its rules.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 9 hours ago* (1 child)

    You're right this was definitely a thing previously but it's kinda different now, even very young self proclaimed liberal progressive people do this shit and it's not just men, it's women who are leaning into this shit too.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 4 points 4 hours ago

    i legit cannot wrap my head around like +50% of people's relationships. i assume its my own baggage or there's a missing element i don't know about... so i don't speak on it alot, but i stg it's like most relationships are just some mutated version of parent-child. like one person is clearly the parentified overly-responsible one who operationalizes the unit or one is like unreliable and explicitly requests to be monitored with like constant check-ins when they aren't together because they do risky/impulsive shit. like, i dunno, i see it and i can't imagine having the bandwidth to do all that.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 36 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    I live in a very conservative area, so sometimes it seemed like infidelity was treated as more evil than domestic abuse. My grandpa lived in a mostly loveless marriage where the wife abused my mom (her step daughter) and took advantage of the relatively little money he made, but people always admired that he stuck with that marriage until he died.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

    I've noticed it too. Maybe it's a knock on effect of the atomization that got supercharged by covid. All the things making it hard to find a relationship also conditioning people to be very paranoid about losing it?

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 23 points 1 day ago (4 children)

    Don't get me wrong infidelity is always shitty behavior

    Usually. Not always

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 18 points 1 day ago (3 children)

    i suspect that what we're talking here is infidelity, which is understood here to be a violation of monogamous trust as opposed to open/poly relationships

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments