I do it because I'd want 3-4 fries at most and it's a waste to get an entire order of fries for that.

My kids don't need to be eating all that candy, it's no good for them. I'm making a sacrifice. For them.

One or two is a tax. Robbing the whole bag of "the good stuff" is being an asshole.

Yeah, my kids are well aware of the Dad Tax. They're prepared for life.

Tax is a portion, not the entirety of a batch. This is just being a selfish ass.

My kids just give me the ones I like and keep a couple if they still like them.

Tooth decay? Not if you brush regularly

So you buy extra for the trick or treaters and what's left is your hoard.

That was me in the 80s. I think part of it was that my mom was a health nut so we’d never get that stuff except for holidays and the impulse was to save it. But I’d forget about it and she’d throw it away at Christmas. Same thing with Christmas candy, throw it out at Easter.

As a kid, I’d hoard Halloween candy and eat it one bit at a time over the course of months. My parents never threw it out, and I’d typically still have some of last year’s candy when the next Halloween came round. Chocolate never goes bad, in the sense that it is dangerous to eat it— it just separates out which might not taste as good, but if you don’t mind that, it’s fine to keep around. I was fine with it. And of course, my favorites were always the hard candies and other sugar based ones, not the chocolate anyway.

You're basically taking a bullet for them.

It's better for your teeth if you eat it all at once. Or at least that's what I tell myself.