🫂

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Miisha. Please know that you bring a lot of people joy, myself included. You are being unfairly harsh on yourself. You wouldn't say those things about another person, so please try to give yourself the same grace and compassion.

We love you and I hope you know you have support from people here if you need it.

Ill say it again, your always welcome here

So... it seems pretty clear that you've internalized some unhealthy things. I don't know where this feeling comes from, and maybe you don't know either, but to some extent it doesn't matter, because no amount of reason can argue you out of a feeling. The inspiration and the justification are mostly a distraction.

However, you need to accept that the way you're feeling now is as meaningful and self-defining and real and legitimate as the feeling of being a little bit bored while you're sitting on the toilet. It is one feeling among many that are part of your life experience. It has power when you empower it, by focusing on it above all the other feelings that you have.

I know, it seems all-consuming when you're in the midst of it, but it doesn't have to be.

I'd like to point you in a direction that helped me:

Being Peace, by Thich Nhat Hanh.

If possible, get a physical copy that you can sit with, and put your phone away for awhile. Read a chapter, and then spend some time contemplating it, and relating it to your own experience. Don't rush, you aren't racing to the end to find the ultimate answer. Peace isn't something that comes to us, it's something that we make for ourselves. Peace is something that we bring into the world, out of the desire for it to be.

No one is more deserving of some peace than you are.

I love you, it won't help you accepting yourself, but I love you anyway. You are my sister, I want you to know.

Otter hugs for you luv 💜