Oh my god I want to scream "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?" at my sibling.

He did "the talk" at me. Of course as all the previous ones it was "You WILL let Michelle violate your boundaries. You WILL let her speak over you and stomp on your personal aspirations."

Oh and don't forget constantly moving the goal posts of "yOu CaN't Be InDePeNdEnT" all of whom are:

-Shit I can already do but the goal posts are constantly moved so "Oh look! You actually can't do this thing!" -"Michelle does all that stuff for you! No, you're not allowed to interrogate as to why that's the case. No, you can't learn and then do these things on your own. How else are you supposed to be absolutely 👌fucked👌 when Michelle finally dies?"

Cue in the bit where my sibling responds with "Well I let Michelle have access to all of my finances and stuff!"

At which point my jaw metaphorically dropped. I probably did that "blinking of disbelief" thing.

Like HOLY SHIT! Dear god that's horrifying!

Helping out with financial stuff is one thing. Letting someone have full unfettered access to your finances is another.

It's like the phone password sharing thing some romantic couples do. That is some full on evil maid level shit!

Relationship goes south, you are utterly fucked.

Relationship could be straight out of a romance novel with Good Soviet Values™ and that's still incredibly creepy and invasive.

All of you are going to the Gulag, and you're learning how to set and enforce healthy boundaries. Fucking hell.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 16 points 6 days ago (1 child)

"Hi, I have extremely absurd boundaries and can't truly trust anyone because I was raised by an emotionally abusive parent!"

Abusive households will often have a sibling (or multiple) who are given preferential treatment by the abuser, and as such, don't see the abuser as nearly as bad as their more heavily abused siblings will, which in turn just makes them work on behalf of the abuser, trying to normalise their abuse as you are dealing with here. cuddle

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 7 points 6 days ago

    Oh shit you're right!

    Throw in "ablesplaining" and "forced unwelcomed help" and you get the utter hell I live in.

    Also doesn't help my sibling is a spineless liberal who has no real principles.

    Fucking claimed to support trans people but then got snippy with me coming out "because I'm doing it to piss people off".

    He full on pushed back on my stating Michelle is abusive.

    Hell he doesn't even know a lick of what abusive parenting looks like. I've read, and will continue to read, the life experiences of abusive households. That has taught me what patterns and stuff to look for.

    My sibling avoids that stuff like the plague.

  • source
  • parent