I'm sharing my lived experience because I care. From here it seems like you're throwing judgments and accusations at me to justify your own hatred. I know it can feel like a source or strength, especially when you've felt its impact, but I promise you it's not. You're allowing the worst of us to drag you to their level, and joining in a self-destructive game they're much better at. I see what you're doing as letting "the nazis" win. Expanding your sense of the other, responding to it with violence, acting from fear rather than love, successfully atomized and volatile and raw for exploitation. I guarantee you and the guy with a maga hat on top of his klan hood have more in common than either of you do with any politician or billionaire, very much including the impact your behaviour has. Continuing to love and be vulnerable through suffering is in no way rolling over. Amplifying that suffering, picking it up as a weapon and inflicting what has been inflicted on you on another, is far more fundamental a capitulation than helping someone in need you don't feel "deserves" it. I hope one of my platitudes reach you, and can promise my whole heart is in them. Good luck out there.