The BBC has a good article on this concept

The tension that results can make us feel stressed, irritated, and unhappy. But instead of resolving it by changing our beliefs or behaviour, it’s quite normal to blame these feelings on something else entirely – all without realising we’re doing it

In the case of eating meat, Rothgerber suggests we have a number of strategies – around 15 – which allow us to avoid facing up to the meat paradox. These include pretending that meat has no link to animals, imagining that we eat less of it than we really do, wilful ignorance about how it’s produced

[...]

Unfortunately, most of these are derailed by the presence of vegans.

According to Rothgerber, people tend not to think of meat eating as an ideology. The dominance of meat eating around the world helps the omnivores among us to avoid the idea that it’s a choice – it’s just what everyone else is doing. But when a vegan turns up at a dinner party, suddenly we’re bumped out of the comfortable “mainstream diet” category and into the unsettling “meat-eating” category. By their mere existence, vegans force people to confront their cognitive dissonance. And this makes people angry.

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200203-the-hidden-biases-that-drive-anti-vegan-hatred

fuck that server though. what if instead of a voluntary dietary restriction you were allergic to meat?

I hear you. I was raised vegetarian (mom is awesome) and have flip flopped between that and veganism my whole life. Growing up meatless and male has been a weird experience, with countless people telling me I'm not manly be cause I don't eat dead animals. Wtf.

Sadly, I've also received the opposite, telling me I don't really care because I'm not vegan enough (sigh)

A good friend of mine is vegan and has been actually assaulted (old lady slapped him, which isn't exactly being attacked with a tire iron, but it's still fucking assault) because of it.

Another good friend is vegetarian, and when we went out for pizza, he ordered this one fancy pizza, and told them to hold the meat (entire pizza is veggie except for prosciutto). They brought it out with prosciutto on it, and when he said "I don't eat meat" the server replied "it's very thin" as if that made a difference to it being meat. It was genuinely quite funny in the moment. Lol. They did replace the pizza without any qualms or attitude, but I'll never forget that moment. It's thing, so it doesn't count!

... Also, I do wish they'd left that pizza instead of taking it back. It looked so good, and whenever I visit them they like to starve me to death because they're all tiny people with caloric deficits D:

I think it partially has something to do with the internet brainrot propaganda against veganism/vegetarianism

Because your lifestyle choices are an affront to their lifestyle. In many places in the world eating meat is an important part of the culture. Saying that you don’t eat meat is seen as a rejection of the culture. And they will immediately label you as “the other”.

It’s like if a person says they are an atheist in a country where everyone is religious and religion is an important part of daily life. Even when the atheist isn’t judging anyone the atheist will receive negative reactions and even violence.

Hugs.

This is why I don't bring it up to other people.

It points out how shameful and lazy meat eaters are to their face, and people don’t like having their poor choices pointed out to them.

It is the same when telling people that you dont drink or take other drugs..

The same goes for the vegan/vegetarian side too, tbh.

Like, it's something more related to group dynamics. Give people a way to distinguish themselves and they'll build all of their identity around it, then they'll discriminate the out-group and suck the in-group's balls even if they're wrong.

As of myself, I'm omnivore and I can't get carnists nor vegetarians and/or vegans points, but I do respect them as long as they respect me too.

weirdly ive noticed alot of behavior like this even on lemmy and even in leftist communities on here. people just get really mad when a post even mentions someone being vegan. similarly i see people demonizing people who for riding bikes and i just get so confused at why they are on lemmy (a very leftist platform) if they despise commonly leftist things

That is when you also mention you need to speak to a manager. l know it is now considered a "Karen" thing, but sometimes it really is the right course of action.

Generally I don't care. I prefer phrasing it as dietary restrictions. I can't eat wheat or lentils. And a lot of fruit makes my lips tingle and itch.

A token "fuck you" to the bitch that down voted you