yea, i got that. it has to be sharp and sudden pain. all that talk of using cold to safely manage is complete utter bullshit. recently i used a hammer to hit the space between the bones in my fore arm, and that straightened me out incredibly quick, but man the recovery from that sucked. i usually slam my fists against my steel desk, but my hands are always creaky now.
i should sleep but i cant. i should do things that i enjoy, but doing them is not joyful, and that makes me compound the frustration and the anger. the weekends are dangerous. holidays more so. my work has mandated time off because i don’t take pto. so in three month i will have to face the prospect of 20 days off