A bit of context before I dive in: I've been living with my mom for months on a rural area in the middle of nowhere in a very, very small city, so small in fact there is no Uber, and no public transportation (there is a bus station for getting out or into the town) and we have been stuck without being able to go anywhere cause we don't have a vehicle and the road is extremely dangerous with giant trucks coming and going all the time, and on top of that it would take nearly an hour on foot for us to reach the city. We are also practically broke and depend on my dad for everything.

Now, there is this doctor that got interested in this house and made us an offer, trade it for his house in a city much closer to where we lived before, like half the distance, and the house is pretty big and inside a condo, so that's a good deal, but my dad wanted to have a meeting with the guy before hand and wanted to negotiate so he would also pay a little bit to cover the costs of moving and everything, which I don't blame him, but at the same time the economy here in Brasil is not doing well, austerity neoliberal politics can go fuck itself, and his original deal was probably the best deal we could have possibly hoped, but the guy's flight was delayed, he couldn't be in the meeting and now he seems to be growing disinterested and we most likely will remain here.

So I asked my dad today how he was and if there was any progress on the house deal because we can't continue to be here, which he knows as we can't even go to a doctor and I haven't been able to contact the local government to try to be eligible for disability pay because I'm autistic with huge social anxiety and depression and there's no phone signal here, to which he responded that "I'm fine as far as I can" which honestly is the most he ever opened to me, so I thought ok he must not be feeling that well, and he said the deal got cold, and that he's trying to find another solution, I asked what other solution there is, to which then he responded "I'm being obliged to take anything that shows up since you can't be there any longer", as if it's our fault. I just completely ignored that and a few messages later it seems he will try to contact the guy again today, so I hope that goes well.

Honestly that is very minor stuff compared to other manipulation he has done in the past, but still, really? I know he's overworked (story of his life), and I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful to him, but after all the shit he has done, some which I don't want to talk here because I don't want to share too much on the internet, that's what he says? My mom keeps telling me regularly to message him and stuff, but then I do and that is the way he talks back, like come on now. Last time I even talked to him about my depression for the first time ever and he just didn't reply in any meaningful way. No wonder he's the last person I want to tell that I'm trans. Which, speaking of, I'm probably cooked in my transition too if we don't manage to get out of here (if I want to use our free healthcare system that is), this is an extremely conservative, and very, very small city and I doubt that healthcare professionals here even know how to deal with a trans person.