I think if you watch it again you’d realize he is meant to be the villain. The scene where he calls tech support and doesn’t want to cancel his wish, just tone it down a little. Followed by him hearing her screaming in pain knowing the girl he’s with does not have the soul of the girl he had a crush on.

Even after that call, he’s trying to salvage this thing. Knowing what he knew, he would live the rest of his life with this thing so long as it toned down the weirdness.

I loved that the movie didn’t bash you over the head with this message, but it’s 100% in there.

He is the villain. He's not pure evil, he's just a bit of a loser and lacks self confidence, but many times he is given a choice to do the right thing or the thing that benefits his own wants, he makes the selfish choice.

That's why he's the villain. Little by little he knows things are going wrong, but he's a "nice guy" and surely he deserves something he wants because he's "nice."

The movie is a fantastic depiction of what is wrong with NiceGuys™ and that they actually don't care nearly as much about the other person as they think they do.

The director himself said it best, "The One Wish Willow isn't cursed, the shop owner is meant to demonstrate that you can make your wish and live a fine life after. Bear is cursed because the wish he makes is cursed."

There are many scenes which make it clear that in fact she is the victim. Theres a permament latent layer of meaning which shows that his only problem is her strange behaviour and not her suffering, he adressed that in many scenes. Even when she talks to him with clear mind in her sleep begging to just kill her all he answers is "is it so bad to be with me". Also when the one whish willow hotline askes if he wants to talk to the in the background crying and suffering " real nikki" he just denies. Pretty much every scene has these two layers: the classic horror where the crazy nikki hunts her victim and the layer of bear clearly knowing he just trapped this girl against her will for selfish reasons. It shows very subtle in the beginning of the movie and gets more obvious in the further course... I didnt recognize many of the more subtle signs in the first third of the movie until i saw it a second time, i can really recommend to do this (if you two find the time) and rewatch with another perspective, its very well done! Also after i saw it the second time i watched some analsysis and it showed even more details i didnt see the second time, i love how much love went into the details and the social relation between the four friends and what happens in the (sometimes blurred) background.

I get that you didnt like the movie too much and i dont wanna be that movie defending fangirl but there a a few scenes where we learn things about nikkis past and future plans, her view of love and relationship... we dont learn that about bear (maybe indirectly). She also has a relationship to her male an female friends which exists and is shown outside bears perspective. I miss the female characters perspektive in many movies (most slightly older movies, weve come a long way lol) but that movie didnt give me that feeling... But maybe thats just my subjective experience. Yeah its still a horror movie where things before and after the story are not presented in detail but i think nikkis view was given at least as much room than the male co protagonists view. Maybe sometimes more subtle, because she is obsessed most time... What still haunts me are her eyes in the first sex scene (or rape scene, depends on how much knowlege you grant bear in the beginning).

He is portrayed as the victim most of the movie, which we found very strange.

genuinely baffled how you got this. it was immediately clear to me & my partner that he was a selfish, feckless loser who brought it on himself.

He’s definitely played as a tragic villain for the entirety of the film. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m questioning if commenters like this ever watched the movie.

yeah, the only thought i had during and especially at the end of the movie was "and now that poor girl is traumatized for the rest of her life and will most likely be in prison for double homicide for several years just bcs this dude wanted to get his dick wet"

Nikki not having a real backstory is (probably) on purpose. We see most of the story from Bear's perspective and he doesn't care about her backstory. So we don't get to see it.

The whole film uses those stereotypes on purpose to show how problematic they are.

You may find this video essay by Jessie Gender to be enlightening - https://youtu.be/Ta51v9tW3CA

Yes, it's 3 hours long. Yes, it's worth it.

It's a classic, straightforward "love potion" trope story, which is itself a subset of the broader "monkey's paw" trope. A portion of the internet wants to turn it into a gender wars issue because that's what the internet does. You can swap either or both genders and the story still mostly works.