I tell unfriendly cis people I'm female but I let them mistake me for male if it benefits me (my work is managing violent behaviors so some confused patients act better if they think I'm male).

I tell friendly cis people and especially children "kinda both kinda neither."

I tell lgbt people "what're you the Cops?" or "that's proprietary information and and I don't have a copy of the NDA form on me."

And my answer to the pronoun question is "what you call me when I'm not here is none of my business."

I guess if I had to pick one it'd probably be 'it' because I've always wanted to be the weird side character probably something like a janitor or something except you're not entirely sure I'm human and I show up once per book / season, easily fix exactly one (1) problem, then completely disappear again.