I don't know what the opposite of "sucks to be you" is, but I want to say it now.

Yeah, it's not all sweetness and light for most guys out there.

A year is quite a long time between male periods, maybe check with your healthcare professional. Are you getting enough vitamins in your diet?

Around 34.832652143% of men of menstruating age work, and few employers are enlightened enough to give time off for this.

Some men get as little as seven weeks' warning that they're about to menstruate and it can be difficult to arrange personal time at that sort of proximity.

Believe it it not, being overly girthy can make it more difficult for the egg or eggs to pass through the penis, with that extra flesh constricting the passage somewhat. I don't mean to boast, but this has been an uncomfortable problem for me since I was about 17 and my classmates used to bully me about complaining about it until one day I laid an egg when we were changing after swimming class, and there was a lot more swearing, astonishment and sympathy that day, I can tell you.

Word got out and several girls and one boy asked me to lay my next egg in them. I've never felt more objectified in my life, so I only slept with about three or four of them. Of course the guy gave the best head - the rumors are true, and he was a great lay (he orgasmed three times, which he said had never happened to him before, but turned out to be normal for us, and he had great buttcheek muscles and knew how to use them, so of course I hit that again and again, who wouldn't?), but his wife only lets him sleep around during the week when she works away in the city and I sometimes have needs at the weekend, if you know what I mean, so it wouldn't have worked out.

One of the girls had a tentacle ovipositor which I could not compete with and some of her dirty talk was a bit off-putting. I politely turned her down the next time I was ovulating.