I found out after checking my savings in a few months. Went to buy surplus grain from Sawhill farms and needed to withdraw 1000. thought ATM was broke until I check the Chase app and find a lousy 300 dollars left. I called her and just spoke for a bit before bringing it up and when I did she paused and just went “oh” and hung up. I got home she was already in bed and I ended up getting high and sleeping on the futon again. Next morn she tells me that I have to think about paying off some debt. Debt? I brought up the missing money and that’s when she broke down and told me she had been watching eBay live and buying a bunch of shit we don’t need. I checked out eBay life and shits bleak. It uses the short form media format so you can just swipe through live auctions. She got addicted to spending but using klarna because she thought it would cost less. Turns out I’m over 9000 in debt. There’s no way to return some of this shit. I think I’m going to pay it off but then have a serious discussion about the relationship because I don’t think I can be with someone who is financially unstable. But I love her and she helped me out when I was in a toxic relationship.
Addicts lie about their addiction because they're embarrassed. Its not something nefarious like "behind my back" implys. If they were a serial liar I think OP would noticed and could drag their character into it.
I hid my nicotine addiction behind my partner's back (I relapsed) for half a year before finally telling her.
It started off as "I didn't actually relapse, this is just a bump in the road"
Then I started lying to myself, saying this was the last time I'm buying zyns at the gas station, rinse and repeat for months.
Got to the point where I became too embarrassed to say I relapsed, had a zyn in my mouth at all times, felt like I was having withdrawals even if I had one in my mouth.
Finally admitted to it after she suspected something, felt really ashamed, but it was like a weight was off my chest.
Quit shortly after, having someone supporting you can really give that final push to quit
that's fair. it's more that i wouldn't be able to deal with that breach of trust regardless of the reason personally