lol hi I’m new to actually trying to get a grip on my psyche so please bear with me
I’m a man in his mid-twenties who has gone through some nonsense. I’ve historically been able to brush off and move past intense family dysfunction, poverty, weird friendship dynamics, stress from extracurriculars and university, anxiety about the world and my future in the tech industry, and came through getting furloughed from my first gig out of college relatively unscathed. I’m finally settling back into work which on paper isn’t too far off from my interests, I’ve finally become financially stable, and I recently ended a long-term relationship that had become mutually platonic in a pretty gentle way.
Seemingly out of the blue I’ve started waking up at night with sensations of intense dread, my heart rate sometimes spiking and there being very little I can seemingly do to affect it. A few weeks back I was sent to the ER after a heart rate of ~160bpm at rest for 40 minutes. Doctors don’t believe there’s anything physiologically wrong, but ever since I’ve had weird, off-feeling sensations where I know I won’t be able to relax. If I keep busy I’m fine, but this has absolutely been wrecking my sleep. Exercise has helped to some degree, but like, what the hell brain?
Taking any and all advice, I’m a generally anxious and stressy person but this is completely new to me. Talking myself down from these types of situations doesn’t seem to work, what do I do?
edit: ty for all the responses and for letting me thought-dump for y’all, it’s actually been nice to just write this all down as well
Only thing I notice out of the ordinary is a new job/remote work. How do you feel you're doing at your new job? Have you had remote work positions before? Have you ever lost a job suddenly?
As long as you're not exercising to the point of total exhaustion, taking healthy breaks and rest days, there's no limit so long as you're otherwise healthy. Go for a long walk up a steep hill for an hour like 5 days a week.
eeehhhhh remote work is admittedly isolating for me, but the work, pay and benefits of staying at home are all nice. I had a very similar remote job before this one which I had gotten furloughed from. The job hunt was pretty brutal, landed a contract job doing IT for a hospital which was actually pretty fun and rewarding, but that contract ended and my previous employer offered me the remote job I work now. The bunch of people I work with are all much more serious than the last team I was a part of, but they’re also all really talented at what they do so it’s been a challenge to keep up, but it’s very manageable.
I think my own takeaways are that I just need to carve out time to move and talk with people … in a not-work context, my social circle has shrunk since I had graduated and most of my homies live an hour away. Dunno if that all makes sense? It still feels weird that something that simple could’ve caused me to feel that kind of dread.
Yeah, many things can cause anxiety and panic attacks. One of them is definitely living in your head too much. I know that flavor quite well!
I find whenever I am tackling technical projects that require me to learn so much that I couldn't even really properly vent to a stranger is when I'm unknowingly redlining my burn-out-o-meter.
If venting requires multiple nested bullet points, I need to make time for a hike up a mountain, or focus on a creative project like trying to record a cover of a song.
When I don't, sometimes my anxiety and subsequent panic attacks literally just look like tourettes without words. Just a yell. My mind will suddenly start tripping over the multiple nested bullet points while Im doing something else, And I'll reflexively just yell. Sometimes just "Fuck!" Or "Ahh!" Always fun to explain to my girlfriend. "No, it was nothing. Just a little anxiety spike." Thankfully for me never woke me up. All anxiety is different.
So make some time for yourself. Technical projects like a selfhosted home lab do not count if it's the same kinda shit that you do at work. Unfortunately. (don't) Ask me how I know. Go do something physical. My rule of thumb was to push my cardio to the point where I literally had no bandwidth to think about anything but breathing. Steep hills never fail. That, or find a project I can immerse myself in and lose track of time. Something that won't frustrate me in any way that isn't positive.