1246
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 193 points 2 days ago

I used to have this problem, but I somehow got over it by imagining to piss in the face of the queen of England. Something about unloading in her face while she’s sitting there all prissy like makes me laugh which relaxes my muscles enough to piss.

[-] HappyCatLuvs_U@lemmy.world 138 points 2 days ago

So thankful the internet still says infinitely more hilarious and baffling things on a daily basis than AI could ever manage.

[-] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de -5 points 1 day ago

Why do you think this couldn't have been written by AI?

[-] officermike@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago

But what do you do now that there's no queen?

[-] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 62 points 2 days ago

Obviously the answer is to imagine Margaret Thatcher

[-] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 40 points 1 day ago

Jesus, they want to relax not to crack the porcelain.

[-] fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com 3 points 1 day ago

Baseball, cold showers, baseball, cold showers.

Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!

[-] zebidiah@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

Or.....Musk, trump, clammy sam Altman and Wario amadim, Stephen Miller, Pete hegseth, 5/7 supreme Court justices, the Palantir creep, Jenson, jensons fucking jacket, that lying fucking cunt at the white House that always wears a stupid little fucking cross, all the other lying fucking cunts at the white House.... Howard fucking lutnik, bibi, Putin,

...this is a fun list! Who else did I miss?

Jk Rowling, Andrew taint, the Kardashians, the Logan brothers and Mr Beast....

Who else?

[-] MurderHobo 4 points 1 day ago

Peter Thiel, Larry Ellison, the Indian dude constantly setting off my Microsoft Authenticator

[-] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 3 points 1 day ago

Clive Palmer and Rupert Murdoch

[-] djdarren@piefed.social 16 points 2 days ago

Are you Irish, by any chance?

[-] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago

Nope I’m Dutch .

Also y’all think I’m joking but I’m dead serious

[-] fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com 11 points 1 day ago

No one would ever joke about being Dutch.

[-] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 day ago

So why not think about the king of the Netherlands/Belgium?

[-] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 days ago

I tried this, but got a boner instead

[-] olafurp@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

This is what I stay on Lemmy for

[-] syaochan@feddit.it 8 points 1 day ago

I don't think this will help me, but thanks for the laugh

[-] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 days ago
[-] Vespair@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Absolute cinema

[-] diaphragmwp@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 days ago

You think someone will follow a youtube link in the context of peeing on the queen's face?

[-] teslekova@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago
[-] socsa@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago

This is how I'm going to potty train my children. I'm sure it will work out fine.

[-] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Keep em' away from posh elderly ladies otherwise there's gonna be lawsuits out the wazzoo.

[-] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago

In the end she'll be sitting there all pissy.

[-] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Thank you very much for sharing

[-] 87Six@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

One of those comments that comes like a slap in the face with a hand full of cold water, in the morning

this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2026
1246 points (98.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

41118 readers
3725 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS