How do you cope with being lonely forever? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 4 hours ago by sidalsolgun@lemmy.ca to c/bpd@sh.itjust.works

10 comments fedilink hide all child comments

22F.

Therapies and meds are not working for me as I'm resistant to brainwashing.

Whenever I get into a relationship, doesn't matter how hard I try, I end up attacking the person due self-sabotage episode. I tell horrible things, I hit them from their weakest points (not physically), and during that self-sabotage + adrenaline I take so much pleasure from hurting them like I don't think I could even get that enjoyment from sex or something.

Before accepting that I should stay away from people, or be very distanced, I thought I can manage it but no, I was wrong. My best effort lasted maximum 5 months. Episode hit again, and I fucked up everything.

Once I sleep and the episode is gone, I wake up with instant regret. I apologize but OTOH everything I said was correct so I can't really take back what I said anyways LMFAO.

It's so painful, and I find it crazy that BPD is different from ASPD. Seeing other people living their lives, having a partner, and overall happy hurts so bad. I even become like "oh why don't I just download a dating app an..." then I remember I have BPD and how I fucked everything before.

Some people are seriously born to be euthanized. Being trans + BPD is a horrible combo. Staying alive is a torture for me since my early childhood.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] sidalsolgun@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

Other thing is, I was using anti-androgen until getting orchiectomy 3 months ago.

After getting orchiectomy and stopping taking them, I'm feeling very stable.

Mood swings didn't happen. I'm very stable for now.

I forgot to mention it because I'm on anti androgens since December 2022.

Mmmmm, maybe after fixing my life I should try socialising because I'm really doing well actually? I didn't realise this detail.

[-] sidalsolgun@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

They diagnosed me with "BPD" when I was on a shitty horrible HRT regimen too so I think I should just give myself time.

this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026

5 points (72.7% liked)

BPD

158 readers

14 users here now

This is a friendly and welcoming community for individuals with borderline personality disorder to discuss their condition and receive support from other like-minded individuals. While intended for individuals diagnosed with bpd, undiagnosed individuals, loved ones, family members, and anyone else who may be interested in learning more about bpd are more than welcome to subscribe.

This community, however, is not the place to seek a diagnosis for either yourself or anyone else. We are not mental healthcare professionals and our advice should not be treated the same as that of a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. You can find mental healthcare professionals on sites such as this one, contacting your health insurance agency, or contacting a mental health clinic or hospital in your area.

Community Rules (please read before posting)

Posts must be related to BPD
Be compassionate and civil during your time in this community.
Do not ask for a diagnosis. We are not mental healthcare professionals and as such can not diagnose you with any acceptable degree of accuracy.
All posts which contain triggering or troubling content must be marked as NSFW.
Do not post stigmas or harmful rhetoric about BPD. This is harmful not only to the community but to individuals with BPD.

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

elisature@sh.itjust.works