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Young Men
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this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2026
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I think this is out of touch.
Literally every young man you go ask will confidently affirm "of course rape is bad"
The issue is they don't know what counts as rape.
"What if theyre really into you but also really drunk, but asks you to have set with them?"
"What about if theyre seventeen and you are nineteen but you are their coach?"
"What if you are both super high?"
"What if she says no at first but after you are persistent for an hour and she gives up and lets you have sex with her"
"What if you are both adults but you are her manager at work?"
Theres a lot of scenarios that are, indeed, rape, but a lot of young men would be shocked to learn that count.
Most of those examples aren't rape.
In my country, a bit more than half are.
However the point Im making is if I asked a random collection of young men here to identify which is which, most of them would get most of the answers wrong, and theyd argue over it.
Because theres basically zero education on the topic. Not exactly there fault per-se, Im moreso calling out the government for failing our youth on this.
Ill also note that most young women would also probably get a lot of the answers wrong too...
Here. Have Set with them.
Fuck ya
I think some of your examples are poor. Managers and co-workers can hook up if they are consenting. Yes the manager has power over them, but especially in a big company that power isn't majorly significant. Its also possible the underling is sleeping with the manager consentually for their own benefit and gain. Power dynamics can be bad but are not inherently rape.
Now that manager starts using raises, prefered shifts or whatever else to gain sex, thats a different story.
For inedbriation like if we are both super high, first time is questionable, but sexual partners that have been together for years and get high every day? Probably okay in most scenarios.
I never said all of my examples were rape, merely that young men would struggle and argue over which is which, because of a lack of education.
Many young and even grown men will even argue zero of the examples are rape (definitely incorrect)
Which is imo the real issue. This should be pretty decidedly taught in schools so both men and women grow up knowing what rape even is.
The way you phrased your comment didn't make that clear. It reads as if you are listing scenarios that count as rape, not factors that should be considered.
I suspect this is not consistent across jurisdictions or fields.
Pretty sure I've seen the 'both parties super high on the regular -> still rape' in several trainings, for eg.
If both parties being high is an exclusive factor for rape then nearly every couple I know is raping each other weekly. It does depend on the context and relationship but as i said in my original comment, an established stoner couple is usually able to consent while stoned. Its not the same as getting someone stoned for the first time and taking advantage of them.
For example I'm fine having sex while I'm stoned, however i wouldn't consent to it while high on physchedlics. My partners consent and condition would of course ve important there as well. If i learned being stoned was akin to being blackout for them, i wouldn't feel comfortable or confident in their consent.
Its probably taught so that when in doubt you just don't do it.
Absolutely not consistent, I know some people who think manager/employee is terrible. You're kind of pushing your own narrative on this and assuming the general public feel the same
Terrible does not equal rape. It can be bad while still being consentual.
My point is, your view is not the view of the general public. You're speaking like it is
I made it pretty clear in my original comment that the situation has potential to be toxic and terrible. That does not mean it counts as rape. I believe the general public would agree with that.
Just like most people don't like age gap relationships. If they are both adults and providing true consent, it isn't rape, even if the rest of society doesn't like it.
I think you're ignoring the aspects of rape culture and assuming the issue is only ignorance.
As a man, with many male friends, and having grown up deeply entrenched in aforementioned culture.
Id put it at genuinely around 90% outright ignorance.
Schools just literally do not teach this, parents dont teach it, for a lot of men they never actually get any education on the manner.
Period.
So the only education they get is internet influencer propaganda of the Andrew Tate garbage variety and that is basically all they have to work with.
So lets not pretend its terribly surprising when young men grow up in those conditions and go on to become awful individuals, what exactly did we expect to happen?
Absolutely agreed. I’m certain that the 16 year old guy who coerced me into doing things when I was 14 wouldn’t consider himself a sexual abuser. Doesn’t matter how many times I said “no,” doesn’t matter how he used emotional manipulation (“if you loved me you’d do it”) and comparisons to his ex (“she never had a problem with it”) when I had zero interest. I wasn’t ready. I told him I wasn’t. He didn’t care, he just wanted his dick wet. It was normal in his eyes, and he was ready to weaponize my “prudishness” against me because he had more social clout.
Fuck rape culture. I wish he’d been taught right from wrong. I was terrified to tell anyone about what happened, expecting more shame on me for what happened. I only started talking about it years later, as an adult.